⚠️bored - jungkook solo

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based off the billie eilish song "bored"

please read at your own risk, i think this is my darkest work.

i'm using this to vent so i'm sorry if it's a little messy

in honour of suicide prevention month.

"please remember that no matter who you are, someone out there loves you" - lee jinki

-suicide
-self harm

jungkook presses play on his phone, music blasts through his speaker system. he's home alone in his basically unfurnished apartment. there's only a few lights on so visibility is low. the music is so loud it's shaking the the floor and walls. he's glad the apartment block is practically empty.

the games you played, were never fun.

jungkook takes another sip of his drink, he's not quite sure what's in it - he's not drunk, but he will he soon if he continues like this. the liquid burns his throat, he laughs grimly to himself.

you said you'd stay, but then you'd run.

he removes his shirt. sweat dripped down his forehead, he tussled his wet hair, sighing deeply.

he goes on twitter one last time, he just posted a cover - it's blowing up as usual, but jungkook deliberately seeks out the hate. he's addicted to it. he feels numb as he reads the harsh words written about him, he takes another swig. it burns.

giving you what you're begging for.

he throws the glass at the wall, smashing it. he picks up the shards and squeezes them, not even wincing as his skin slices.

giving you what you say i need.

he lets the blood drip down his arms like candle wax. he smiles, watching the red liquid pour out of him. it stings, but he loves it.

i don't want any settled scores.

he picks up his phone and tries to unlock it - the blood won't let him. he growls slightly, shocking himself. he wipes the blood on his shorts and manages to successfully open the phone.

there's a message from namjoon.

rapmon hyung 🦖:
kook, you okay? the cover you posted was pretty sad
i'm here if you need a chat
we're all here for you

he ignores it, anger burning inside him for no reason - he tries to make himself hate everyone around him, so he'll feel less guilty for abandoning them. another message comes in, he doesn't bother reading who sent it. he finally makes his way up to the roof of his building, legs shaking the whole time.

i just want you to set me free.

he's out in the open now, cool air bites at his exposed chest. his eyes twinkle as he stumbles around, admiring the seoul skyline for one last time. he's laughing again.

he walks forward with confidence, sitting on the ledge and looking down. the city is busy below him - the streets are packed, it's a saturday evening and there's large groups of students and other young people mixing below him. he smiles, watching them have fun. the music is faint now - but he can still hear it.

i'm not afraid anymore.

namjoon messages again - he's worried about being left on read. we're here for you. talk to us. bla bla bla.

what makes you sure, you're all i need?

why is he so angry? it's not his hyung's fault that the world failed him. if anything, they made his time here that little bit better. jungkook, stop feeling guilty. you know what needs done.

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