Chapter 21

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by ohimjustpeachy

by ohimjustpeachy

Sarah's POV
"Matt you can't ju-"
"Sarah, please. You have changed me into a better person."
"Matt it's not th- "
"I no longer believe in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because she was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."
"Matt st-"
"It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too." I nod.
"Matt, what are you going to say to olivia?" He shrugs.
"Goodbye, I guess?" I laugh and he stands up.
"Oh, and I have this for you." he says, and he hands me a note. I smile.
"Thank you."
"No, thank you." He says, and kisses my cheek. He leaves the bathroom and shortly after, I leave too. I sit on the couch inside and slowly open the note.
Dear Sarah,
We're all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems-the ones that make you truly who you are-that we're ready to find a lifelong soulmate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person-someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.
Sarah, over the past 12 years I've known you, I want to apologize for the first 5 years. I'm sorry. And I hope one day, one very special day, I can finally say I do, and call you mine. One day, we will fulfill my dream of marrying you, not some girl I've known for 4 years. Because in the 1 year I really got to know you, she has never made me feel like you do in 4 years.
Thank you. For everything.
Mathew