Catharsis

*22*

When we arrived at the hospital Cho greeted us first with tears in her eyes and Namjoon wrapped her in a tight embrace to ease her sadness and concern. Everyone else was just waiting in silence, unsure what to say or do to make the atmosphere less heavy.

After a few minutes which felt like forever, the light above the theatre went off and a man dressed in a white coat came out of the room, followed by two nurses. I was watching his every step, then he stopped in front of us with a slight anger in his expression.

"Are you Ha-Neul's friends?" Everyone nodded, still unable to speak. "Luckily the surgery went well and she is waking up now. I am surprised to see she has so many friends but none of you knew what's going on or prevent any of this! She had an acute crisis of appendicitis triggered by a stress overload..." the doctor scolded us and we were all looking at the floor with our heads hanging low. Me and Tae exchanged guilty looks, knowing how much stress we must have caused on top of what she was going through already.

"Don't look so down, the most important thing is that she's doing fine now. But you need to make sure you're taking good care of your friend from now on . She also sprained her right ankle, I assume she was desperately running, looking for something." My heart shrunk to the size of a pebble. 

"On a more optimistic note, I will let one of you visit her as soon as she is moved to her room, but you need to decide which one, as she needs to rest more before she can meet all of you. Is any of you her boyfriend?"

I flinched at his question and I couldn't help but stare in Tae's direction. When he didn't say anything I took the initiative. "I think you should go, Tae, she will be happiest to see you" I said smiling weakly. 

"Hyung, I don't think that's such a good idea" he looked at me with the saddest gaze. I froze in place and then Jimin squeezed my hand, likely surprised as well by Tae's answer. 

"What are you talking about? I thought you were..."

"We're not." Tae interrupted. "I think you should go, hyung, you are more entitled to, I screwed up bad." he said with tears in his eyes. Everyone agreed with him and the nurse told me the room number and how to find it.

As soon as the medical staff moved away from us I pulled Tae into an embrace, stroking the back of his head. My heart ached at his sadness. I couldn't stand that painful look in his eyes. "I will fix it, Tae, I promise."

----------------------------------------------

I opened the door to Ha-Neul's room gently, as I wasn't ready for her to be awake just yet. I still had no idea what's best to do or what to say. I was overwhelmed with guilt. I moved slowly towards the bed where she was laying and I kneeled next to her, just like a prince in front of a sleeping beauty. But this was a completely different story, there was no kiss and no happy ending. 

I couldn't help myself and I took her small hand in mine, gently stroking it. It was so cold and it made me think for a second that she's not even alive, just laying still, as a porcelain doll. As I was distracted by her beauty Ha-Neul fluttered her eyes and smiled the sweetest smile that I've ever seen when she noticed me. I couldn't help but to smile back.

"Is that what awaits for me at the heaven's doors? Did God stole you from this earth to guard his kingdom? Is that why I couldn't find you anywhere?" she asked softly. I couldn't tell if she was teasing me or she was hallucinating because of the anesthetic. It made me happy anyways. I caused her so much pain, but she was repaying me with kindness.  

"I am so sorry, Ha-Neul. This is all my fault!" I apologized.

"It is. But it's ok, I forgive you." She was still smiling and moved her hand from mine to place it on my cheek. "I am happy you are finally here and I can stop running. I am so tired, Hobi..." She spoke in such a soft voice, my heart couldn't take it. How can she smile when it's obvious she's in so much pain?