"What's up with you?" At the lack of my contribution to the topic of conversation Prissy looked to me concerned. It almost made me believe she returned my feelings. "You became quiet all of a sudden, is something on your mind?"
Coming up with an excuse I said, "I'm just thinking of the amount of work I have to do when I get home."
"You don't have to go home," she said with a smile. "You can stay at mine. My parents won't mind."
"No, it's fine." The amount of time we already spent together was enough. If she saw the way I retreated into myself she said nothing. I took my hand away from hers and avoided her eyes. Although I hadn't wanted to I said, "If I don't get started now I don't know when I'll finish. I'll see you tomorrow."
Without another word I left her standing there and walked away. No matter how many times I tried to delude myself into thinking she felt the same as I did, I had to remind myself that it was only my wishful thinking.
Lost in my thoughts I finally made it home and as I tried to make my presence unknown, my mother was at the door as I closed it. And to think I could have sneaked my way past her bat like ears.
"It's about time you got home." She came up to me to take my things away. The gesture although uncharacteristic of her, was appreciated. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and think my life choices over, not that I had many. "I don't know why we let you go to school if your not going to college."
"My day was fine thanks for asking." I saw her eyes roving over me and she shot me a look of distaste. "If you need me I'll be in my room," I said as I excused myself. I went to leave and just as I had made it to the staircase a voice called out for me.
"Not so fast young lady you have yet to greet our guest," my father said. The sunken feeling in my stomach made me stop in my step. Before I could turn around I heard as someone approached me. Without needing to ask I knew who it was but father still told me. My eyes as my mothers had before roved over him.
He didn't look as I had imagined, which might have been a good thing. He was young. He was handsome, but not in the way it made my heart flutter.
Going to shake his hand instead he took mine in his and pressed a kiss to the back of it. I smiled at him making sure not to show my displeasure at the action. I walked down the steps and went to his side looking to my parents for what to do. But instead they left the parlour leaving us unattended.
Knowing I couldn't do anything to ward him off I sent him another smile and hoped that he was kind enough to return it. He did.
"Your parents were telling me about you," be began with a shy smile. He looked away as if bashful.
"What did they say may I ask?" Curiously I looked to him. I poured myself a cup of tea and did the same for him.
"Nothing bad I can assure you."
"Since you happen to know me why don't I get to know you."
And that was how I spent my afternoon even if I did want to run back to Prissy.
~~~
Weeks after having met Charles wasn't enough to have me falling for him. Even if he was kind and loving. It wouldn't do him any good to be spending his time with me when he could have been looking for someone who could love him back.
But as much as I was trying I couldn't. I knew that.
As I had done countless times before I pondered on my marriage. I hadn't noticed how Prissy shook me back to reality. Throughout the past few weeks she was getting tired of my secrecy. She had resulted in trying to get me to talk to her but if I did there would possibly be no hope for us. Even if there never was or ever will be.
Words Better Left Unsaid (Priscilla Andrews)
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