entry #73 | dєfåυℓт

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The realization was like a spear of cold that forced itself through the warmth that enveloped her, breaking all her shields and crumbling them into thousands of little pieces. It was like someone poured acid into her soul, burning her from the inside out. She smoldered with anger and hurt, decaying away until she was nothing but ashes.

She managed to control all the negative thoughts to force out coherent words. "Kieran," she began in a dangerously low voice that was uncommon for her. The white-haired male's hold of her loosened in his shock. One look at her face told her everything he needed. He didn't need to ask what it was—he was good at reading emotions. 

"So you know?" His voice was airy and flippant for someone who's been caught of murder. It only enraged her more. He took absolutely nothing seriously.

"You killed Keller." Her words were like a serrated knife she brandished with calm and precaution. She wasn't afraid to use it to slice away at any lies and excuses. "Then Izzy and Carrie"—She ripped his arms away from her to spin around and glare straight into his eyes—"Tell me, were those lies too?"

"I never lied to you," was his calm reply. "I can't speak for the others, but I had no hand in their deaths."

She didn't know what to believe anymore but one thing's for sure; they were guilty. "Then who killed them?" She spat the words out viciously, wanting them to bite, sting, and hurt him. "And don't you dare tell me it was an accident or try to divert the question."

His jaw clenched as a conflicted expression warred on his face. Nonchalance won in the end. "They were going to die. The Game—"

"The Game is a whole ton of bullsh*t. I don't care how many Mr. Howards we need to go up against but we can deal with him and we could have made it out alive. But you—"

She couldn't look at him anymore. Now all she felt was a cold, burning flame at the pit of her stomach. The inferno no longer consumed her. Cobwebs billowed like curtains in her heart as memories ran rampant in her mind, only to be devoured by the terrible creature that hid under her skin, offering her poison to drink as if it would cure the pain. She always refused it at first.

This time she accepted.

His hands alighted on her shoulders, a finger skimming over her collarbone. "Are you angry?" Burning hands slid down her arms to clench around her waist. "Or afraid? It doesn't really matter to me...you were going to find out sooner or later."

"And what were you going to do when I did?" Her voice was not fully human at this point, so alien she didn't even recognize it herself. Was this what Jasper was feeling right now?

"I'm not sure," Kieran admitted. "It doesn't change anything for me. Why? Are you going to run away now?"

The badness in her bared its teeth. She didn't need a heart monitor to know her heartbeat was accelerating dangerously high. Either a panic attack or allow herself to be taken over by the ghosts that haunt her—neither was a pleasant choice, but they were the only choices she had. 

The next few seconds were a blur. Somehow she had managed to seize a champagne flute from the table and knock Kieran to the ground. Then she broke the glass until it was half of its original height and complete with deadly sharp, jagged edges. She pointed it at his neck, her face chillingly blank.

"I will leave," she said calmly. "And none of you will be able to stop me. But first, I want answers." She pressed the broken glass closer to his throat when defiance flashed in his fiery eyes. "I will be the one asking the questions, understand?"

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