different. | ljh · ick [1] ✔

21

im busy tomorrow, that's why there's a lot of updates:( and its the eighth chapter ive mad today.

-

Changkyun ordered the same frappe like always and found a spot by the windows. He waited to Jooheon to order and come back so they could talk about random stuff.

Jooheon came back and sat down, taking a sip from his latte. "So, you like romance?" he teased, whirling his straw around the cup.

"Yeah, everyone does, some don't show it as much." He spoke bluntly, taking a sip from his frappe.

"Romance is alright, but I can't read or watch whatever you were reading before, it makes me gag." he laughed.

"Why is that?" Changkyun turned his attention back onto him. another sip was taken.

"Most of it is straight, and that is just weird to watch or read or even hear about, probably because I'm gay but that's whatever." he put the drink off to the side.

Changkyun just nodded and looked at the table, not knowing what else to say.

"Are you still upset with me because of that night?" Jooheon whispered in a soft tone, referring to the night on halloween.

The brunette looked up at him and shook his head, taking a sip from his frappe. "Who even cares about first kisses anyways." he laughed, looking at the now empty cup.

Jooheon was a bit shocked, he nodded though, looking at his drink. "Well, I hope it didn't make it awkward between us." he offered him a smile.

Changkyun threw the cup away and stood up, grabbing his bag. he sighed quietly, looking at Jooheon. "It didn't mean anything, I'm not into men." the shorter of the two smiled weakly and walked out of the coffee shop and back home, wanting to be at peace and read.

When he arrived home, he got an notification from his phone. He looked at his phone to see that someone from an unknown number sent him a picture of Jooheon with another guy, the picture was clear that they were hooking up.

The familiar turning in his stomach made him upset. he didn't like him so he simply sat the phone down and took a shower, blasting music so the music overpowered thinking.

Hurt. Again.

"Stop." He whispered, his eyes shut tightly while he stood under the lukewarm water.

He only feels bad for you.

"Stop," He repeated, gripping at at the curtain.

You're not good enough. go back to being your own self where you're invisible.

where no one loves you.

Changkyun screamed the word stop and turned the water off.

he slumped down the shower wall and had tears falling down his cheeks.

His heart ached from the thoughts piling in his mind.

Changkyun felt so helpless with himself, he didnt know what to believe or what to think.

for all he knew, it could've been an old picture

it could've been photo shopped

What Changkyun was really upset about

was that he didn't want to lose Jooheon.

He knows he likes him but he doesn't want to show it.

-

The next day was a saturday. he asked Jooheon to hang out at his place, forgetting that last night even happened.

He wore a tank top and shorts, walking inside the others dorm room.

"Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday, I was still upset about what you did." he faintly smiled, poking the boys dimples before he was pulled into a hug.

"Nah, its cool." he rubbed Changkyuns back in a soothing way before he pulled away. "Lets play candy land." he grinned.

Changkyun scoffed, "fine, winner gets 200,000 won and whoever the loser is, has to do whatever the other person says." he laid out the rules before they shook on it.

Changkyun was already halfway through, his foot tapping under the table from worrying about who would win.

Jooheon was far behind him, but he didn't want to jinx it.

When it was Changkyuns turn, he got the ice fairy girl or whatever and stood up abruptly.

"In your face!" he stuck his finger in front of him and started to do a happy dance.

"Hey don't jinx it, you didn't win." Jooheon tried to keep the happier side up, but he got a blue, so he only went up one.

The next card Changkyun pulled was the muffin card, so he had to go all the way back to the beginning.

lets just say that for the rest of the game, Changkyun was sulking and Jooheon won.

Jooheon was rubbing it in his face while Changkyun sat there, no expression.

He gave him the 200,000 won and looked up at him.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"Kiss me,"

"Huh?"

"I said, play cod with me." Jooheon rolled his eyes. "Are you going deaf?"

Changkyun could've swore he said something else, if he didn't, he imagined it, which was worse.

"Uh yeah sure, thats a weird winning asking, you could've just asked and I would say yes but there's no complaining." he smiled, making his way to the bedroom which was where the tv was.

After a few games and insulting each other, they got hungry. so they went out for chicken, again.

"I still won cod, you one a game like candy land." he smiled, "so you're paying."

"That's alright with me, I like paying any ways." he leaned back into the seat and thanked the waiter for the food.

Jooheon looked up at Changkyun with a small smile. "Are you going back home for thanksgiving?" he asked him, taking a bite from his chicken.

"No," Changkyun said bluntly, "I wasn't the favorite so I don't think they'll notice im gone." he took a sip from his soda. "are you?"

"Yeah, ill be gone the whole break, its always been a thing, you know." he smiled, looking down at the food.

"Ill be the only one here then hm." he tapped his chin. "thats alright honestly, I like when its quiet and no loud Minhyuk is next to me." he paused, "but my phone will be blowing up because of him."

Jooheon nodded. "I get that feeling, its good though, you know that someone thinks about you."

Changkyun nodded, "I guess so." he finished his chicken and sighed, "can I stay at your place?" he asked suddenly.

Jooheon nodded, "yeah of course, you can stay over when ever, you don't gotta ask." he paid for the meal and got up.

"I feel like when people say that, they dont mean it. I mean, you always have to ask." he spoke straight facts, walking out of the shop and down the side walk, side by side.

it fell silent.

and a warm hand wrapped around Changkyuns cold one.

"You know you're amazing right?"