Heat, Waves and Heartbreak| Blazing Series #1

30

Seven years later

"Carissa wake up!"

"Mommy!"

Naalimpungatan ako nang naramdaman kong may humihila sa'kin. Nang imulat ko ang mata ay tumambad sa'kin ang dalawang batang hila hila ang bed sheet sa kama ko.

"Stop it girls." Humikab ako at pumikit ulit pero mas lalo pa nilang hinila ang hinihigaan ko.

Ano ba itong mga batang 'to! Ang evil!

Ngayon lang ako nakabawi ng mahaba-habang tulog. This week was hectic. I need to attend some trainings para sa temporary take over ko sa  Montero Liquors. After I graduated Business Management in college, he's been mentioning about giving him a year break from the company. Syempre umayaw ako! Sino ba ang nanaising mag-manage ng kompanyang mas pinili niya noon kaysa sa amin? Ang kompanyang binalikan niya kahit ang kapalit ay ang talikuran niya ang responsibilidad sa amin ni mama. Until now, I still don't feel at ease around him but I have to be good to him because he's been supporting us financially and his wife is kind too.

But I told him I don't want the company! Nag-usap na kami na I'll go with what I want and that's to build a bookstore! And now he won't give it to me until I take over with his position in the company for a year! Wala akong choice because I don't have the amount I need for my bookstore.

"Carissa I said wake up! You promised to take us to the mall today!"

Ugh! I should've not promise! I want to sleep grrr!

Isang hila pa ng dalawang bata at tuluyan na akong nalaglag sa kama.

"Uh tangina!"

Unti-unti akong tumayo habang hawak ang pwet. Nabalian yata ako ng buto. Ang sakit ng pwet ko.

"Did you just cursed Mommy?"

Natampal ko ang noo. Masyado pa silang bata para turuan kong magmura!

"Huh? I said 'tama na." I emphasized the word and I saw Devi rolled her eyes. Napakabastos talaga ng batang ito.

"I clearly heard you say tangina though," she said and smirked.

Devi is my mama's child. She died after giving birth to her. Hindi namin alam na may dinaramdam pala si mama nang mga panahong iyon. I was so busy healing my own wounds that I did not notice her suffering from her illness. Kasama ko siya araw-araw pero hindi ko man lang napansin at hanggang ngayon pinagsisisihan ko pa rin iyon. If only I asked her, if only I looked at her, sana may nasandalan siya noong panahong hirap na hirap na siya. All the attentions were in me kaya walang nakapansin na may tinatago siyang karamdaman. But that was all in the past. Siguro masaya na rin si mama ngayon kung nasaan man siya.

I had undergone several psychotherapy sessions when we transferred here in Manila. I even stopped school for 3 years before I successfully recovered from that accident. Steffi was a big help. Yeah, she's my daughter.

"Tangina? What's that ate Devi?" Steffi's face became curious. Hindi na naman ito titigil hangga't hindi nasasagot ang tanong niya.

Inako ko ang responsibilidad sa dalawa. Tinuring ko na ring parang anak ko si Devi kahit ayaw niya. Patunay na riyan ang pagtawag niya sa'kin gamit ang pangalan ko while she taught Steffi na Mommy ang itawag sa'kin.

Pinalaki ko naman sila ng maayos pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ang kinalabasan.

"It's a bad word. Don't say it again okay?" Her ate Devi told her. Steffi listens to her, always. Devi treat her like her baby sister even though they're almost at the same age.