Chapter 20

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Two persons. There were only two person who had ever kissed me or doing anything close to intimate in my entire life and they two person were Kim Namjoon and Blake Anderson.

Kim Namjoon, my butthole of an ex. Yes, kissing Namjoon created havoc in my stomach. It was one of the memories that had the strongest bond with my mind. One that is so darn hard to erase and the one that used to be so beautiful, one where I promised myself to cherish, one that was taped clearly in my head, my mind, my brain but, everything turned so ugly at the end and I hated it, and every details of it disgusted me.

Blake Anderson, my biological annoying brother. Just thought about it almost bringing all the food I had eaten earlier up back to my mouth. I want to throw up. I kissed my freaking brother when we were chasing each other around the house and I just had to trip over the carpet and went rolling on the floor with Blake on top of me, lips touching. Ewww. I was so thankful that it was just an accident and the kiss last no longer than 2 seconds. Once again, the type of kiss I wanted to completely erase from my freaking head.

And today, officially added another member.

Kim Taehyung, my saviour from my demon of a boyfriend. I had never been so confused with a kiss before. I kissed Namjoon because I loved him and he was my boyfriend. I kissed Blake because of an accident. But Kim Taehyung, he left me so overwhelmed with so many emotions and questions, and it's not even a kiss on the lips.

What exactly he wants to tell me? He wants comfort? He likes me? He wants to kiss my neck just for fun? Or he wants to prove something?

I was stunned. The moment his glossy lips moulded onto the skin below my jawline , I stopped breathing instantly. His lips gently brushed from my jawline to the side of my neck, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings, just long enough that I could inhale his scent, felt the warmth of his skin, and the hotness of his lips on my skin. This simple action from him sent shiver ran down my spine. The beating of my heart sound so loud and unreal, so fast. His touch electrified me and got goosebump crawling up my body. My adrenaline was acting up like crazy. 

I wanted to pull away. I wanted to stop this but I was thinking of so many things and one of them being - how am I going to face the aftermath of it.

My eyes was at its widest state. I grabbed a fistful of Taehyung's slightly wet school uniform and just stood still while his lips were doing its wonder onto my neck. I was so nervous, yes, I was so worried about what would happen after this but I couldn't deny how good his lips felt over my neck. It was obvious that he wanted reaction from me, but I was in the state of being a statue. I couldn't move. Yes, I do have a tiny bit of crush on him but I didn't know what should I do to not damage even a bit of our beautiful friendship.

He was hesitant for a good 5 seconds, before he strengthen the hold around me suddenly and deepened the kiss. And what he did next, which I didn't know how, got a soft sigh out of my mouth and I regretted it instantly when Taehyung became froze.

And I'm afraid to know where is this leading us.

And I'm also afraid of the thought of me rejecting Kim Taehyung.

And afraid of giving him hope if I did respond.

So, I did something I think was the best. I placed both my palms against his chest and lightly pushed him away from me to set us apart, as his lips separated with my slightly throbbing skin with a soft chuu.

My breath hadn't slowed down a bit as I stared into his brownish pupil. My eyebrows was pulled together, an expression of me being so clueless. His hands had dropped to his side but my clenched fist over his uniform still remained there. I needed support.

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