The respite had been short lived. After the mess she made going undercover in a gambling ring Amanda Rollins had been on thin ice. Lieutenant Murphy may trust you but I don't. The words rang in her ears long after her CO Sargeant Oliva Benson had said them. But it wasn't long until the man who had saved her in that gambling ring had saved her again. Declan Murphy had been assigned as CO of SVU mainly because of the William Lewis trial but had stayed on for a while. Putting a buffer of sorts between Amanda and the woman who's respect she had craved. It was almost pathetic. But he was gone, undercover again somewhere and Olivia was back in charge. Amanda had hoped that maybe, just maybe, enough time had passed that it would be okay. They had gotten along well enough while Murphy was there. But it seemed she was wrong. Maybe it was just her imagination but it seemed that every point she made about a case was either ignored or outright criticized. Now she stood pacing in her superior's office trying to convince the woman that an undercover op was the best way to proceed with their current case.
"Come on Sargeant. This is a good lead." Amanda said "Rollins, we don't have enough to warrant an undercover op. Not one as dangerous as this." Olivia said from behind her desk as she leaned back in her chair "Yeah right." Amanda snapped, "If it was one of them." She gestured to Amaro and Fin who sat, uncomfortably in the chairs in front of Olivia's desk as the two women seemed to be playing out their issues in front of them, well Amanda was anyway
"Excuse me." Olivia said as Fin said, "Don't drag us into this." "Are you really gonna make me say it?" Amanda asked as Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and with a tilt of her head told her to keep going, "You shoot down every idea I have, ignore every observation. Do you know who really found the connection in the Stanton case? That was me. But I had Nick tell you because I knew you'd at least listen to him." Olivia looked at Nick who averted his eyes in a way that confirmed the blonde detective's statement.
Fin started to get up, "We uh, we should let you two work this out."
"No!" Amanda practically shouted, "I'm done." And with that she stormed out of the office
Olivia sat up and rested her elbows on her desk and let out a slow breath.
"Let me talk to her." Fin said
"No," Olivia held up her hand, "This is between the two of us." She rose from her seat
"Look, Liv, I wanted to say something about the Stanton thing. But she..."
Olivia shook her head, "It's okay, Nick. I need to...I need to straighten this out."
She left her office as a worried Fin and Amaro exchanged glances.
/
Up in the cribs Amanda was trying to cool down. What had she just done? Going off like that. If Olivia wasn't wanting to transfer before she sure would now. But it was like an explosion she couldn't stop. She was trying so hard and it didn't seem to matter. She thought about Cragen. How he'd helped her and even every so often checked in on her. Asked her how she was doing. But she knew he'd be disappointed in her now and he might have taken her shield. That would have been devastating but better than being somewhere you're not wanted. Even when Murphy was there he, in his own way, did the same. In the month before he came after she reamed her a new one Olivia never once asked. She wasn't expecting Olivia to be her friend. Even when they were peers she gave up on that. But she had hoped as CO that she at least cared about the well being of her people. If for no other reason than to make sure they were fit for duty.
A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she turn to see the door open and Olivia step into the room. Not now. Just. Not. Now. She turned and faced the window unable to look her superior in the eye. "Amanda," Olivia said, "We, uh, we should talk." "Talk? You mean I listen and you talk." She said, "I mean, that's why you're here. To ream me out again." Olivia sighed and thrust her hand in her pockets, "No, I'm not." She said softly, "Look at me, please."
