War in Katipunan

Kabanata 30

KABANATA 30.

Reabuilding Memories.

PARANG MAY punyal na nakabara sa lalamunan ko. I can’t even utter another word. My father whom I avoided for the past years is standing right in front of my face! David Padilla is standing on our doorstep, my father. Wala akong ibang maramdaman ngayon kung hindi gulat. Kung hindi pa gumalaw si mama ay hindi pa ako makakakibo.

“A-ah, pasok ka, Dave.” My mother uttered. Agad naman na dumapo ang tingin ni papa kay mama. I saw how my father’s eyes softened when his gaze went to my mother. Bigla kong naalala ang sinabi saakin ni mama noong bakasyon na nagpunta ako rito.

She said they decided to separate because my father was drifting away from the man he used to be. That he didn’t love my mother enough; his Faith was struggling. Sometimes, you have to be separated to the one you love for you to love them better, the words from my mother. I know then that my mom still loves my father. But seeing how papa looked at mama, no words were spoken but I know for a fact that my parents loves each other.

Nakarating kami sa hapagkainan na walang nagsasalita. Our table is a six sitter dining table. Naupo si papa sa katapat ko na upuan at si mama naman sa gitna. I still can’t take off my eyes on my papa. Matagal ko siyang hindi nakita. Four years or more than that? Kahit na nagkaka-edad na si papa ay kapansin-pansin parin na magandang lalaki siya noong kabataan niya. He’s still handsome now though.

Hinain na ni mama ang niluto niyang tanghalian namin. Naglabas rin siya ng juice mula sa ref. I stared at her while she put foods on my plate. When I eyes met, I smiled at her. Doon naman siya kumalma. Masyadong halatang kinakabahan si mama. Kalma lang ma, kasal parin kayo ni papa. I smirked and turned to my father.

My father’s eyes were on my mother. My smirk widened. Why are parents so obvious? Naramdaman ata ni papa na nakatingin ako sakaniya kaya napatingin rin siya saakin. He cleared his throat. I’m pretty sure he was shy because I caught him staring at my mother, his wife. No need to feel shy, pa. I know everything already.

We ate in silence. Panakanaka akong tumitingin sakanilang dalawa. My father is too obvious! I know he wants to talk to mama pero pinipigilan niya ang sarili niya dahil nandoon ako! I smirked. Pagkatapos kong kumain ay agad akong tumayo.

“Tapos na po ako, doon po muna ako sa kuwarto. Pakitawag nalang po ako kapag may kailangan kayo.” Hindi ko na sila hinintay na sumagot. Agad akong naglakad papunta sa kuwarto ko. They need to talk. Alam kong nagkaka-usap sila but I’m pretty sure their conversation is all about me. They need to talk about their relationship.

Personally, I want them to be together again. Pero ayaw ko namang ipilit ang gusto ko. It’s their decision. Hindi rin excuse na may anak sila. I am already old enough to understand their decisions. Sadyang matigas lang talaga ang ulo ko noon kaya hindi ko sila hinayaang magpaliwanag.

But now, I just want to make things right. I want to be in good terms with my parents. I want to live free. I want to forgive myself. I want to be complete. Gusto kong maging buo ako at pagkatapos kong ayusin ang sarili ko… baka sakaling magkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob para umamin kay Luthor.

Seeing my father again now, after many years made me realize a lot of things. My father made me realize that a man can wait. A man can love wholeheartedly. My parents made me believe in romantic love again. Hindi ko akalain na sila ang dahilan para hindi ako maniwala sa pagmamahal noon at sila rin ang dahilan kung bakit naniwala ulit ako sa pagmamahal ngayon.

My mother mentioned their Faith. It was their weapon. I wonder if it’s true? Sabi ni mama, A relationship that is not committed to the Lord is a relationship wasted. Kaya rin sila nagkalabuan ni papa dahil mahina ang pananampalataya ni papa. His Faith was weak that my mother outgrew him. I was thinking if all relationships are like theirs.