[Book 2] Gate Guardian - Song of the Frozen Soul

PHASE 77 - I JOINED AN IDOL GROUP WITH A FOUL NAME

PHASE 77 - I JOINED AN IDOL GROUP WITH A FOUL NAME

I killed him.

I definitely killed him.

Our target for apprehension, Leon Frembell, died after I cast the spell of <God Core Assimilation> on him. His heart was anchored by the God Core of Chronos, so when I forcefully removed it from him, his heart went with it.

Fortunately for me, I easily got off with it. Jecchan reported to the Black Cross Legion about the incident, and she told them that death is nothing but a horrible accident. The Black Cross Legion accepted her excuse since a death battle between Cursed Guardians and Gate Guardians are inevitable. But even though, my mind, heart, and soul are filled with guilt.

For three nights, I had a bad dream. A fuzzy dream about me killing innocent people, and even Gate Guardians. The dead face of the middle-aged Leon Frembell haunts me every night as if he is begging for justice. Death should have been prevented. It shouldn’t have happened if only I’m not a careless idiot.

For the past three days, my mind is preoccupied with the horrifying thoughts. I could no longer focus on my studies nor eat like a hungry bear. All I think of is regret for failing to do the right thing.

“I’m sorry, Tiara. I never would have thought that that bastard kept his God Core attached to his heart for more than a decade. It’s not your fault. It’s me to blame. If only I told you about him... if only I was there with you that night… that shouldn’t have happened.”

Those were the words Rikkun used to comfort me. It’s so thoughtful for him to put the blame on himself only, but I cannot accept it. The whole reality is that I killed a man. It doesn’t matter if it’s an accident or intentional. For me, taking a person’s life is a really evil thing to do.

I’ve been in a lot of battles, and never once I’ve killed a person. No, I’m just lying to myself. I have killed hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people already in the past timelines that I have reset. Just the mere singing of the <Song of Time> must even have erased some people from existence. I have killed my cursed twin brother a couple of thousand of times. I have even killed Rikkun back when he’s only a living head. Killing should be part of me now.

But I’ll never get used to it.

I will not be surprised if I become a Cursed Guardian, but for some reason, I was still able to retain my sanity and rationality. Accidental killings are not really a sin on itself, so my allies told me not to worry a lot. Our shrine head Ayano just suggested attending purification sessions to make my mind at ease.

But no matter what I do, I can’t just let it slide off. My idiot mind is so messy that I don’t understand myself anymore.

<>

The bell rang from the tenth floor of the campus, signaling the end of the classes. The sun is giving out a yellowish tint in the classroom. Students have dispersed to smaller groups after they left their seats.

I stayed on my seat, looking at the far orange skies. The gentle breeze of the wind slightly blew my hair. I made a deep sigh as I cleared my mind.

“Tiara.” My boyfriend grabbed my attention, and he’s just sitting right beside me. “Want to go to the newest eat-all-you-can buffet?”

“I… I’m sorry, Rikkun.” I forced a smile as I shook my head. “I don’t really have an appetite, and I’m on a diet. I need to head home.”

“Oh, okay then,” Rikkun answered with a slightly disappointed smile. “Let’s go home together.”

“WAIT A MINUTE!!!” Somebody shouted from the distance. It was a cute blonde girl which is my best friend. It was Jecchan, and she sounded so furious. She’s even holding her hips.