different. | ljh · ick [1] ✔

1

The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all.

Beep Beep Beep Beep

The sound of the alarm clock rang through the brunettes ears, making his eyes furrow from the loud repeating noise. He reached over to click the button on top to snooze.

the windows were open just a bit to let the sound of the birds chirping in delight come inside his small dorm room. the sunlight hit his frail and pale skin, the warmth of the sudden sunlight coming in from the dorms windows made his eyes flutter open, squinting at first but opening up and sitting up straight. wondering the same thing like he does every morning.

Why do I try.

The male always wondered when his grades would improve. or when someone will help him from the hell everyone calls the mind, or when he was going to use his head and actually feel something, not feeling like he was some corpse that rose from the dead.

The alarm clock went off once again and the brunette didn't flinch, he let it ring once, twice, then turned it off, rubbing his tired eyes before he actually got up to get ready for his morning classes.

He pushed the white comforter out of the way and swung his legs over the side, staring at the blank wall in his room. he blinked out of his imagination and went into the reality. he slipped his slippers on and shuffled his feet to the closet. He pulled a sweatshirt and sweatpants down off the hangers, which made them fling back on the floor.

he looked at the bland and boring outfit, pulling the sweatpants over his legs and then tossing the sweatshirt on him. He walked over to his small bathroom and picked up his toothbrush, putting the paste in a straight line before he started to move the brush back and forth, staring at himself in the mirror while he brushed. When he finished, he spit and walked out of the bathroom.

Changkyun dragged his feet across the wooden floor and made his way to the kitchen. he opened up a new box of cereal and poured it into a bowl, then adding the milk. He leaned back over his chair and grabbed a spoon, placing it in the bowl before he stared down at the food, spacing out.

his attention was snapped back to reality when he heard the sudden ding on his phone. The male turned to look at where the noise came from, grabbing his phone from the counter and looking at the texts that were being sent to him.

Minyukie: dude
Minyukie: changkyun
Minyukie: loser

iamwhatiam: what

Minyukie: the weekend is finally coming, lets go out tonight, at the café!

Iamwhatiam: I don't know, I got an exam on monday.

minyukie: oh come on, we all know you don't study for exams, or anything. its just a café

Changkyun could hear the whine in his voice, making him feel a twist of guilt. he was his only friend, and he knew he wanted him to go out, knowing since he never got out anymore, he needed to get out and live his life.

He sighed, looking at the phone screen while seeing Minhyuk's smiling face as the contact photo. he put some thought into it, not loving the idea of going out. he didn't like the outside or talking to people; only when he had to.

Iamwhatiam: fine, but you're paying.

Minyukie: yes!! ill meet you after classes.
r

ead 7:03 am.

The male sighed in annoyance, rubbing his temples while a deep sigh escaped his soft lips. he looked down at the cereal, about to take a bite before he noticed it was soggy. He dropped the spook into the bowl while milk splattered up into him.

"it's fine, I wasn't that hungry anyways," he groaned in disgust, throwing the not so good food anymore, in the trash. he stood slowly, the chair scratching against the tile floor as he reached down to grab his back pack, along with his notebook that he wrote lyrics in.

 The brunette's parents had wanted him to go down the lawyer path. they weren't a big music fan, and the boy didn't want to disappoint them. of course Changkyun didn't want to listen and go on as what he was best at, but he didn't like the fact that they would never come in contact with him as an option either, which he hoped that's what every other adult would have thought when they were a teen.

The boy stood in his messy dorm, his pale knuckles clutching the notebook as he stared at the clothes on the floor and the books on the tables. he took a deep breath before he went off to his first class.

The whole walk to his class dragged him on, his head was down, and his feet felt like weights pulling him down back onto the tile floor. he dragged through the empty hallways, seeing everyone in class already, which he knew he was late, he always was now. he opened the door and walked in; with his head down.

The brunette made his way down to the back where he normally sat, next to the windows, knowing the professor would want to talk to him, he started to dread the moment once it came.

what felt like hours on end, class finally came to a stop. he slowly stood from his seat while the other classmates left already, he stepped down from one step to another, each step got louder and louder, being stopped in front of the door.

"Changkyun." a stern voice spoke, making him turn around, the professor being revealed. his hair was a white color and his eyes were like they were shut. he had a mustache and a beard coming in, making him look older than he probably was.

"Yeah?" He spoke in a monotone voice, waiting to be yelled at, or even worse - kicked out, it would make matters worse with his parents being so strict. all the questions asked about why he was kicked out and why he didn't try.

"You've been failing your classes. you used to be so good and now you're just..there." he paused, trying to find the right words. "Every day I see you come into my class like a lifeless body with pale skin and dark circles under your eyes, you're a living corpse." The professor spoke, acting like it was the most important thing on this damned earth. "if there's anything going on i'm he-"

Changkyun had cut him off, he didn't want to hear it, he already knew what he was going to say. his mind was already clouded with unwanted thoughts, he thought he was going to get kicked out, so he wanted to prepare for it.

"Nothing is wrong, I'm fine." He was about to open the door before he said his name in a stern voice again, making him shudder from the sterness.

"If you don't improve, you're going to get kicked out." The boy only shrugged, he couldn't care less anymore. he took a step out the door, he didn't know about what he had to say about to them, he didn't care anymore.

His mind started to fill up with thoughts. it was only seven in the morning, and his head was already making him feel worthless more than he already felt like. "Wow my grades are going down, what a whoop." he shook his head.

All his thoughts were about how he should give up, or how his family doesn't care about him and he's a failure. or how they sent him to this school to get rid of him. they all made him feel lifeless, like he didnt have a life anymore, it was the feeling of never wanting to be wanted.

How he only has one friend who is probably only his friend because he is sympathetic and he cares too much about everyone, honestly, Minhyuk is the type to be friends with anyone who needs it or asks. even if he hates the person.

Everything was a blur after that. he let his thoughts get in the way of his learning. so for that day, He made another promise.

Don't Feel.

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1111 words.

edited 8/7/2020

nah that shit was not edited, edited 12/11/2020