Chapter 20 (Part 1) - Dead

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Second chapter today ❤️

The following morning, very early I hasten to add, I was ready to get goi for out hunting trip to power up for the battle. I checked the paper, as always, for the list of deaths in Seattle.

Fred Jackson
Caitlin Harwood
Jeremy Green
Kyle Miller

I froze, a feeling of horror and dread filling me as I took in what I was seeing.

Kyle Miller. That was Kyle, my Kyle.

Kyle was dead?

Kyle was dead.

No.

No, no, no, no, NO!

He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't be!

I ran up to my room, at the fastest speed I could, slamming my door behind me.

I screamed.

All the pain poured out of me as I screamed and yelled and whirled around the room, smashing everything I came into contact with.

It hurt, so much.

I'd never felt pain like it.

Not when my parents had died.

Not when I'd thought Edward was dead.

Not when Edward and I hadn't been speaking.

Not when I'd broken up with Kyle.

Not when he'd moved away.

Not when I thought I'd lost him forever because I knew he was alive, that he was still out there.

Now he was gone and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I hit at the walls, my bed, my desk, destroying it all.

Then the door opened and Edward appeared.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed at him, backing away as he stepped into my room and came towards me. He didn't leave.

He came closer and reached to take hold of my arms to hold me still as I kicked and hit at him, still screaming.

If I were human my throat would be raw.

"No!" I yelled as my brother pulled me to him, me still pushing him away.
"Shh, Ellie," he said gently as he pulled me over to the bed.

I thrashed in Edward's arms, desperately trying to get away from him.

"Ellie, you're okay," he whispered as he held me to him.
"He's dead!" I screamed, still trying to pull away but Edward was stronger than me. "Kyle's dead!"

"I know," he said gently "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix anything! He's gone and he's not coming back! I'm never going to see him again! Why did I ever let him go?!"
"Shh, Ellie, it's not your fault. We're going to get through this, alright?"

Edward held me against him and rubbed my back and suddenly all the fight went out of me.

I broke down in sobs, desperately trying to shed the tears I knew would never come.

All I wanted was to have Kyle back.

Even just to have been able to see him one last time.

"Edward, it hurts," I whispered against his chest.
"I know," he said softly, comfortingly "You will be alright. It will get better."

I didn't know whether I believed him or not but I chose to.

We stayed that way for hours, just Edward and I together, him holding me. It reminded me of when Father had died.

Slowly, I began to calm down. How I wished I could just go to sleep to be able to get away from this pain for a few hours.

I'd thought the pain was bad before.

Now it was excruciating.

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