What words could I possibly write to make you, dear reader, understand that I will never be the same person I once was?
This deep sadness within me consumes all my energy, my joy, the colors and brightness in my life.
My world is bleak and dreary and cold.
I am not innocent, although I would go as far as to say I do portray myself as such.
I'm sorry. I just want any reason to be an example for others to look to when they are in hopeless situations.
I just want to be a hero. Especially since I can't be one to myself-
When are you going to grow up? This is why your parents are disappointed in you. This is why you are a failure. You will always lose. Don't try to pull that 'rise from the ashes' crap. You're so sensitive that you stumble over the simplest hurtful remarks others make and wallow on the ground instead of gritting your teeth and pushing through the pain.
Is that what you'd call a hero?
Pathetic. You could never be someone anyone loves; you can't even begin to like yourself! I hate you so much more than I know how to say. Just give up, and at least the one good thing you ever did for this world was to rid it of you.
With love,
