When you're young,
People say you have the world ahead of you.
I...
I guess I never had that.
I don't cry,
But I still hurt.
People didn't look at me and call me "cute."
People looked at me and asked themselves why the hell I was so fat.
The guy I like just reminded me of my past that I tried to bury.
My luck is just as vibrant as everything else in my life.
The photographs hanging in my house are reminders.
The memories that used to be so happy,
I can't do it anymore.
I can't force myself to be happy about something knowing I'm aware of its reality.
Fuck,
This hurts.
I KNOW I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
I NEVER WAS.
I NEVER WILL BE.
And I'm writing this all down for what?
No one's going to see it.
I'm alone.
My hands shake and tears fall from my eyes,
But I'm still alone.
Real girls don't get pretend heroes.
That's the way it's always going to be.
I try to put up a wall to protect myself;
They're foolish.
They don't seem to want to realize that it's only a projection.
Run.
Run as far away as you can as fast as you can,
Because one of these days,
I'm going to hurt someone.
Just like I never wanted to do.
It hurts.
My fingers are so shaky.
I'm a bomb that's counting up my nerve to cause my own detonation.
I'm on the edge.
I'm so close.
The only question I'm asking now is how much will I feel it?
