So, this is what I've reduced myself to. Pondering, meditating over things I shouldn't yet have omnipresence of.
But I never said I was ordinary.
In fact, you may never see this side of me.
I hide it well behind a smile.
Habitual.
Engrained to put on a mask to evade others of my true emotions.
Quite melodramatic, but true.
No one comes close to the monster that's inside of me. Insidiously hidden.
Maybe no one ever will.
I hold close to my heart the thoughts of living peaceably in seclusion because of what I know.
I should have never picked up on the world's ethics so quickly nor so easily.
It frightens me.
I want nothing to do with the insubstantial decadence that reflects those of my unfortunately partial faction.
The difference is that I had my eyes forcefully opened to the cog work that makes up this horrendous world.
My blissful innocence lost at such a fragile age has taught me many lessons.
I'm not sure I would want to return into the fog that is childhood.
Clear thoughts, unleaded, allowed my mind to begin exploring so many different things.
New perspectives, for example.
My wisdom is well beyond my years as consequence.
If I had respect given to me, in acknowledgement to what I've learned, perhaps things would be portrayed differently.
Even rose-colored.
But I see the ugly.
The snares.
The motives behind the actions.
I see it all.
All the bad.
To know and not be able to act upon any wistful desires to help and save, it's what allows me, so easily, to be compliant with and, dare I say, accepting of the evil?
But, then again, doesn't it everyone?
Maybe I'm no anomaly.
It seems to successfully fit the pattern.
Relentlessly.
The cycle is never broken.
