twenty-one

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Amanda

I made my way up the top of the hill to where Jack's grave was sitting in the cemetery.

I needed to let out all of my feelings or I knew I was going to explode sooner or later, and it would not be pretty.

In Loving Memory...
Jackson Emmett Whitaker
January 1st 1999- April 30th 2020

I could feel my throat starting to close and my vision became blurry at the sight of it, but I took a deep breath.

"Hey, Jack." I whispered, clearing my throat. I sat down on the grassy area in front of it, and placed my hands in my lap. "I just wanted to tell you that I miss you so much, and I think about you every single day. I just hope you're okay..."

"Josie misses you too." I breathed. "She even named one of her stuffed animals after you." I chuckled, wiping a tear away from my face.

"I also wanted to tell you that I'm pregnant." I cried. "And I just know you would've been the best dad... but I'm going to make sure that he knows everything there is to know about you." I spoke, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I just have a feeling it's a boy..."

I sat there for a few seconds, breathing hard before I spoke again.

"I also wanted to apologize... for not being completely honest with you." I sniffed. "I should've told you how I felt about Harry. I'm in love with him and I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you, I was just unsure and I thought it was nothing at first..."

"But I want you to know that I do love you and I always will... nothing will ever change that." I muttered, feeling like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

So I just sat in front of his grave in silence for a few minutes, starting to feel a little bit better.

"Whoever you're missing is okay." A voice spoke up from behind me.

I wiped my tears and turned around to find a little blonde boy, standing behind me. He looked like he couldn't have been older than twelve, and he was dressed in black pants with a button down shirt.

"That's what my mom tells me." He continued on. "That the people we've lost wouldn't want us to worry about them. She said that about my grandma too." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, and looked at me.

Before I could even say anything, I heard another voice from the bottom of the hill.

"Jack!"

It was an older woman at the bottom of the hill, calling up to the boy.

"We have to go, Jack. Stop bothering people!" She shouted, and he shrugged at me.

"Sorry." He mumbled to me, taking off down the hill, and I was left in shock.

I let out a breath of relief and smiled.

I looked up towards the sky, knowing that had to be a sign.

-

"Amanda," Renee grinned. "It's good to see you again."

"Yeah..." I breathed, sitting down in front of her. "I went to see Jack... well I went to his grave today."

"And how did that go?"

"I told him that I'm pregnant." I answered, and she gave me a smile. "And... I talked about my feelings for Harry."

"That's great, Amanda." She remarked, sitting back in her chair. "How do you feel?"

"Better. Much better." I sighed, looking out the window. "I think the reason why I didn't want to talk about it was because that would make it real. A-and I hadn't gotten the chance to tell Jack before he died..." She nodded, watching me as I spoke so I continued on.

"You were right. I was feeling really guilty and thats why I didn't want to talk about my feelings for Harry even though I knew he felt the same," I explained. "I just felt like I didn't deserve it..."

"Amanda, you can't beat yourself up over this." She assured, sitting up in her chair. "When you do that, you're holding onto everything that you were feeling guilty about in the first place."

"But I'm glad to see that you're opening up." She grinned. "Jack would've wanted you to be happy." And I took a deep breath and nodded.

She was right.

-
Harry

I cleaned up the kitchen after Josie and I ate dinner. It was around 6 PM, and Amanda wasn't back yet.

I knew she went to the cemetery to visit Jack, and that she had an appointment with her therapist today, so I was just giving her some space.

"Mr. Wiggles do you want some tea?" Josie asked her stuffed animal, who was sitting in the seat beside her.

I guess he must've said yes because she pretended to pour tea in his cup, from her play tea set.

"Daddy, would you like some tea?" She turned to me, and held up the empty pot.

"Oh, of course, Princess." I answered, and she 'poured' some into my cup.

She placed the pot back down and then grabbed her cup, her pinky in the air.

"Mm." I cooed, pretending to drink from the cup. "This is the best tea I've ever tasted!"

She giggled and pretended to drink from hers. Soon she looked past me and jumped up.

"Mommy!" She exclaimed, and I turned around to see Amanda standing in the doorway of Josie's room.

"I didn't miss the tea party, did I?" She grinned, picking Josie up and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"You can share with daddy." She giggled, and Amanda laughed, putting her down.

"Thank you, sweetie."

Josie sat back down and resumed her tea party with Mr. Wiggles, while Amanda and I walked out towards the kitchen.

"How was your day?" I asked, and she nodded, giving me a small smile.

"Good, actually." She said, looking at me and her smile started to get a little bit bigger.

I noticed that she was smiling a lot; and that made me happy, seeing her like this. It killed me when I could see that she wasn't herself, and I couldn't do anything to comfort her. But today was different....

"You're in a good mood." I laughed, opening the fridge to get some water, when she walked up to me.

"I love you, Harry."

I stopped, unsure if I had heard her correctly.

"What?"

"I'm in love with you." She whispered, coming closer. "And I didn't know what to make of it before because I felt bad but... I love you."

I didn't know what to say. I'd been waiting to hear her say those words for so long, and now she finally had...

"I'm sorry that I got mad at you when you told me how you felt but-"

I cut her off by pulling her to me and kissing her on the lips. She leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and deepening the kiss.

When we pulled away, she looked up at me with a smile, which I returned.

"I love you too, kitten."

--

I know y'all been waiting for that !
& I know what else y'all have been waiting for but you're going to have to wait a little longer 😌😏

also I'm going to start going through comments and following you guys back bc you're all so nice & funny !!! thank you for showing my stories so much love <3

also if you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open, I know how hard this whole quarantine thing can be

-Mel

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