To America

Chapter 29

Clarke POV

I leave Lexa for about 10 minutes to go get her some food. To the kitchen and back. No distractions. Nothing. To the kitchen and back.

I bring the dinner for Lexa and I into my room. Lexa has asked me to let no one but Luna and I in the room. Not even Lincoln is allowed to see her.

When I make it back to the room I see Lexa sitting up and writing on a piece of parchment. She obviously got out of bed for it. I roll my eyes and go back to my chair next to her.

"What are you writing, Lex?" I ask softly. She just shifts a little and looks up at me.

"Um... I don't know." the sick brunette just stares at me.

"Could I read it?" I ask while I put the tray of our food on the night stand. She thinks for a moment then nods and hands me the paper.

To Luna

I lived.
Please don't mourn me. You made all these days on the ocean bearable. You and your sarcasm. Tell Lincoln I love him. Tell Titus even though we fight he always held a place in my heart.
Please protect Clarke... she deserves more then she gets. Don't ever let her settle for Bellamy and whatever you do make sure she is safe. Make sure she lives a wonderful and happy life in America.
Where ever you go when you die is where I am going and I will finally be in peace. I will finally be able to apologize to Aden... please don't mourn me. I'm going to be happy.
I owned every seconds this world could give me,
I saw so many places with the things that I did,
and with every broken bone... i swear to you...
I lived

AW

I look up at Lexa with tears in my eyes. She is just looking down at her hands, "You are not going to die." I state and put the paper on the side table.

"Klark... it wouldn't be the worst thing... i've lived my life... my fight is," she stops and coughs a little, "my fight is over."

"No it's not. It's not, okay... you are going to be okay..." I say and take her hand in mine. She just stares down at her lap, "Remember when you told me you have never been in love?"

"Of course I remember... I remember all of our conversations." Lexa just stares blankly at her lap while she speaks.

"Well then you haven't lived yet. You haven't been in love. You haven't met that person and you haven't been drawn to them when you just look into their eyes for the first time. You haven't bickered about their family with them. You haven't snuck around with them. You haven't star gazed with them. You haven't watched the sunset with them... you haven't had christmas with them... Lexa you haven't felt what it's like to be in love." I basically plead while I take her face and turn it to look at me.

Lexa just stares at me for a moment. Her eyes bleed into mine like they are trying to find the right words to say, "But i've made sure the people I care about survive... I have made sure they are ready to survive when I am gone." Lexa tells me then lays her head on the headboard of my bed.

"Maybe life should be about more than just surviving... don't you think we deserve better than that?" I say while looking at the food on the nightstand, remembering that I have to make her eat.

"Maybe we do." She says in a whisper. I let go of her hand and grab the bowl of soup I had made for her. I turn and look at her. She is whipping sweat off her head with her long sleeve.

"Here." I say and hold a spoon full of soup up to her mouth.

"Klark, you don't have to feed me... I'm oka-" Lexa just starts coughing. I pull the spoon away so she has room to cough. She coughs and coughs while I get water ready for her. Once she is done she lightly puts her head on my headboard.

"You are not okay... when is the last time you really ate?" I ask while getting some soup on the spoon and leading it to her mouth.

"Klork-"

"Lexa... please eat... please." I plead while looking  into her eyes. She complies and opens her mouth for me.

I put the spoon in her mouth and she eats. We repeat this with no words said. We are both silent until Lexa is done with her soup. I then put the bowl down and give her a light smile.

"Thank you." I say softly and she just nods with a light smile. I take my own bowl and start eating.

"Let me." Lexa says while using all the energy she can to move over, leaving me some room on the bed.

"Lex-"

"Please... I just used a lot of energy to move." Lexa gives me a small smile while I sit on the bed next to her. My dress that I am wearing right now is smaller than the ones I usually wear so it's not bothering us.

I start to eat but Lexa slowly takes the spoon out of my hand. I stare at her as she holds the spoon up to my lips. I give her a small smirk. She starts feeding me and I laugh a little.

"You know if I knew you would be feeding me, I would have let you feed yourself." I laugh and she puts the spoon in a half empty bowl.

"I tried to tell you." She chuckles. I smile as she picks up my spoon again but her hand is shaking as she lifts it. I hold her hand while while leading it up to my mouth. We hold eye contact as I eat what's on the spoon. I slowly let go of her hand and she brings it back to the bowl.

I put my bowl to the side, "No you should finish eating." Lexa nods at herself.

"I'm not too hungry." I shrug and she stops me from putting down the bowl.

"If I had to eat, you do too." I nod at her words and finish my soup. Once I was done I get out of bed to get a wet rag. I get back into the bed and put the rag on Lexa's head.

"You should get some sleep." I stroke her cheek and she nods. I see her eyes droop.

"Will you..." she lightly coughs, "will you stay with me?"

"Of course I'll be sitting right in that cha-"

"No... will you... stay here with me?" Lexa opens her eyes while pushing her face into my hand. I continue to stroke her cheek with my thumb as she closes her eyes again. I can say no to that face.

"Of course." I say and I help her lay down. She lays her head right in my lap. I run my finger nails through her hair as she easily falls to sleep. Her light snore makes my eyes droop.

I slowly fall asleep and my head hits the back headboard and it wakes both Lexa and I up. Lexa looks up weakly at me and moves her head off my lap. I scoot down the bed so I can lay my head on the pillow.

Lexa lays down next to me and shivers, "You cold?" I ask her and brush some hair behind her ear.

"L-little." She stubbles out. I pull all the blankets I have over Lexa and I. As I pull them over my shoulder, Lexa scoots as far as she can from me. Only as far that she can actually push herself.

"Lexa... I could warm you." I say quietly and she sweats a little more.

"Okay..." She whispers and I scoot closer to her and wrap my arms around her. Her body fits perfectly in my arms. Her head is on my chest with her noise playing on my collarbone. I blush.

I run my finger through her hair as we both slowly fall asleep.