To America

Chapter 11

Clarke's POV

I am getting ready for the celebration of life with Raven. I have a nice dress on and my hair is nicely done. I smile at myself in the mirror.

I wonder if Lexa will like look?

Raven and I go to the top of the decks. The place is littered with sailors playing music, drinking, laughing, singing. They all look happy.

Someone comes and taps my shoulder.

"Clarke." I rough voice says. I turn and see Roan.

"You did a good job cleaning Lexa up." He says nodding his head. "I think you would make a good doctor."

"Oh but woman aren't allowed to be Doctors." I say.

"Says who?" He asks and I pause.

"Uh... well... the Men..." I say.

He leans in closer to me. "Prove them wrong." He says and pats my shoulder walking away. I smile looking down at my feet.

Raven and I walk around. The sailors were all happy and were singing. They weren't bad either.

"Ello Ladies!" I turn to see Luna and she looks at Raven. "You both look lovely." She says but doesn't even look at me. I giggle.

"Thank you Luna." I say because Luna and Raven were too busy staring into each others eyes to say anything.

"Mhm. Well do you mind if I steal Raven. I want to show her a tradition." Luna says and Raven wraps her arm around Luna's arm.

"Um Luna!" I call out for her. Luna turns and looks at me.

"Yes ma'am?" She asks. Then before I could ask her my question she answers it. "Check at the very back of the deck." Luna says and walks off with Raven.

I nod and go to the very back of the deck. It is quieter and darker here. There is still plenty of light to see where I am walking.

I see a body standing and looking out at the water. I go stand next to her. "Hey... you okay?" I ask her.

She quickly wipes her face. "Mhm. Ya I'm fine. Good. Ya." She says still looking off into the water.

"Listen I won't pry but usually people that aren't upset don't stare off into the dark abyss..." I say with a slight smile and and chuckles.

"Well don't you learn from the best." She says turning to me.

I place my hand on her hand. They are warm compared to my own hands.

"Tell me Lexa." I say with trusting eyes. She looks down at our hands.

"Wow your hands are cold" She says and I sigh.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes. Your hands are freezing." She says looking away from me.

"Okay you don't have to tell me." I say scooting closer to her so our shoulders were touching.

We were silent for a few minutes looking off.

"I was supposed to watch him. It was my job. My turn." She says. She thinks for a moment then continues. "I- I was distracted. I wanted to show Titus that I could tie a knot just like Lincoln could!" I was so excited. Then when I turned back there he was. Walking on the side of the boat." She pauses and I see a single tear run down her face.

"He... he was only 3... he... he fell... I tried to go after him! I tried to jump in the water but Roan held me back as the other sailors went down." Lexa says taking in a breath with tears streaming down her face.

"I let him fall. I was supposed to watch him but my own ego and my own thoughts made me be selfish. I was so selfish!" She says putting her head in her hands.

I wrap my arms around her waist and let her cry. After a minute of this she looks up and turns to me. Her eyes are red and her face is wet. I cup her face in my hands and wipe the tears off of her face.

"H-his name was Aden... my mom died in child birth... I- he would have been 8... I miss him so much..." she says and she moves closer to me. Her arms make a motion like they were going to go around my waist. She moves back quickly.

"Lexa— why don't you think you can touch me?" I ask walking closer to her. She still has a few tears running down her face.

"I- I'm not allowed to... I'm not allowed to touch guest on this boat and if anyone sees you touching a guest on this boat you have a horrible punishment." She says and I walk closer.

"What is it?" I ask and she looks down.

"They hand you from the railing of the boat by your arms for an hour or two." She said and my jaw drops.

"But what about Bellamy."

"I know. It happens tomorrow." Lexa says looking down. I step closer to her and wipe the tears off her eyes.

"Well I'm a guest on this boat and I say that you are allowed to touch me. Cause I have that power." I say and I lift Lexa's arms and put them around my waist and I then move close to her.

A tear falls down her face. I put my arms around her neck and she buries her head in my neck.

"Lexa it's going to be okay." I say as she holds me close. She is so warm. And she smells like the ocean. So beautiful.

She nods.

"So where is Raven?" She asks while slowly letting go of me. And when I say slowly I mean it feels like she never wants to let go. I don't want to let go.

"Oh um... Luna said something for taking her to a tradition." I say and Lexa burst out laughing. "What?" I say. Her laugh making me smile.

"She... she's going for it." She says looking back out at the ocean.

"Going for what?" I ask.

"Well it's a tradition. Basically how my dad got my mom. He took her to the front of the boat and held her waist as she put her arms out and felt like she is flying and then they had their first kiss." Lexa says.

My jaw is on the floor. "Really?" I ask.

"Yep." Lexa says and I started laughing.

We both laugh and hear someone call out my name.

"Clarke. Let's go." My mother says from behind me.

Lexa nods at her. "How is your evening going Ms. Griffin. She walks up close to Lexa. "You even think about trying anything with my daughter I will have you thrown if the boat." She whispers and Lexa's eyes went from soft to dark real quick.

"I'm sorry. Did I do something to offend you?" She asks my mother and my mother basically growls.

"Yes. You have been all over my daughter. I know you have feeling for her which is going against god! Bellamy is her husband and will always be there for her to love and protect her. Not. You." My mother says with her finger in Lexa's face.

"You are lucky I'm not allowed to touch guest on this boat because I do not like it when people put their fingers in my face." Lexa says and my mother slowly lowers her finger. "And for Bellamy. I'm more of a man then he is. And I'm not even a man." She says and I giggle a little.

My mother turns to me and is about to grab my hair and Lexa stops right in front of her before she can touch me.

"Don't touch her." Lexa says and stares at my mother until she walks away.

"Let's go Clarke." My mother says as we walk off.