79 | Trust you.

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I go to my apartment to change my sweaty clothes and get ready for work

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I go to my apartment to change my sweaty clothes and get ready for work. I open my flannel before picking out another to wear as I do so—my eyes stare me back from mirror, looking over to my face that cried tears after Liam left her. I wash my face before locking the door and exiting the building. In bus my head is filled with his thoughts, playing what happened in the parking lot. I can't believe how this morning we were two happy people, joking around, kissing around, craving for each other and just in next hour we fought and ended up leaving each other. What I said back there about him being a manwhore is not because I implied I might like Jason. The thought itself makes me shudder. My sole purpose was to tell him how he likes me and changed and didn't do any whoring around with girls. Similarly Jason could also be like this. I know the way I said might mean in two ways and he had to think the one I wasn't implying.

I enter into the cafe and start my work without meeting anyone. Right now my mood is all over the place and I need my space before I do something I might regret. By accident I mix the orders and end up getting yelled by the customer who was lactose intolerant and I gave him the cheese sandwich that too extra. I apologize but he isn't having it. Kim has to come in between to calm the matter down and I thank her. I am glad a little that she thought it was a mistake and not a mistake due to my presence in Liam la la land rather than here. Across me Clara looks happy and she sweetly comes to my side to say let's see how long others are going to save you. Her warning or threat whatever it was could've scare me a little but I end up forgetting the minute she said that.

By the end of my shift, I am finish and sit on stool waiting for more customers to attend too. The low music coming out from stereo have me look outside the window. By this time Liam usually comes barging inside to take me out but he isn't here. Nick Jonas, Jealous plays on the speaker and Audrey gushes about how she loves that song. Suddenly I am reminded by something. When Stella and Liam incident happened in college, I thought in my mind that it was them flirting with each other ergo the laughing part but later I got to know it was Drake who Liam was laughing on and Stella was trying to grab his attention. I was instantly jealous and didn't even think about the other reasons and when hearing her absurd words about Liam later pushed me more to come out as a green monster. Now that I compare the incident of today with it. It's kind of similar. I was playing with Jason and suddenly when he came close to me Liam thought something is going on. He did at point become convinced that nothing was happening but later my words push him away from me. In my case I don't have any history to be this jealous or have trust issues that doesn't give me chance to believe anyone but in Liam's case. It's the major reason why we both ended up in this situation.

Even though I didn't end up getting angry on him like this with Stella situation but then again we both are different in terms of this. Meanwhile my anger is basically me restoring it as long as I can while Liam tends to explode.

He made my doubt clear about Stella and now it's my time to clear his about Jason. I have to tell him the reason behind my actions and words. I can't let his mind suffer like this. I have to make things right between us.

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