43 | Words.

865 38 56
                                    


The whole night I couldn't sleep

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.


The whole night I couldn't sleep. It was really not the whole night since we slept around one. My mind was wandering to the events that occurred last night. It looks like It was a dream but it wasn't because if I didn't sleep at all how could I dream something like that?

Imagine? Maybe. But I know I didn't imagine it. He was sleeping beside me. I stared at him the whole night as if he would disappear if I closed my eyes.

The way he was laying flat on stomach, one hand going under the pillow and the other laying flat on the mattress. His face was too me and for the first time, I saw how peaceful he looked while sleeping. His whole hard face changed into a baby who doesn't have a care in the world. His heavy breathing was the music that kept me awake last night. It's not like it was disturbing me, it was my choice to not sleep so I won't miss out the beautiful sound of him. I wanted to hear it all night. So I did. At one time I see him struggling as he takes his hand out from the pillow, a frown on his face. I almost laughed. But when he took the hand out, it quickly went to my side, jerking me in the process. In a flash I jumped on the floor and saw his brows furrowed. He groaned and his hands went searching again. I didn't know what he was looking for or maybe he was dreaming so I put my pillow on his side and he quickly grasped it, squeezing it a little, a content look on his face before burying his face in the pillow. Throughout the whole night I sat on the bed, admiring his handsome face and wondering what will happen tomorrow? 

Will something change between us because of what happened? Will he acknowledge me or give me a cold back? Will he regret doing it? Because I don't...I don't have any issues about it. Will he tell me that last night just happened in a spur of a moment? God, if he does say it I don't know how to live upto that. Last night's anger, will it go away properly or what if it occurs again in the morning and seeing me first in the morning will he take it all out on me? These were some of the thoughts that kept me awake half of the night. My thinking about all this is right because I know how things work between us. It's the longest we are going without fighting. I remember how in the past when we tried to get along something always occurred whether it was Liam ignoring me or me annoying him and that's how we usually fight and end up with our backs to each other. We do find our faces again but then again something happens. 

I didn't want to make him angry because sometimes I end up making him angry. He always says it's because of me. I don't know what I do but I want that to stop. I never experienced anything related to boys and he is first. He is the first who is making me feel like I am on cloud nine. As much as I love the feeling I didn't want it to stop so I decided to leave before he could wake up. So I did.

I left his place around four and went to my place. It was still night but I managed to get home. I was afraid but I felt invincible. I always wanted to do something like walking in the middle of night when everyone is in and I am out. I loved the feeling so much, the cold air after the rain, the paddle because of rain. I don't know but at that time I was happy? Maybe because now I was going to clear out another thing off my bucket list or because of....last night and what happened between me and Liam.

Because Of Him | ✅Where stories live. Discover now