the hanging tree - billie eilish

i'm sorry isn't enough |64|

alexis's POV

"alexis. i really need to talk to you." i hear billie say from the other side of finneas's door. "i don't want to hear it. or in your words, save it." i quote her and move so i'm on my side, facing the wall. "alexis please." she begs, knocking on the door once again. "i swear to god i will stay here and keep asking until you let me in." she tells me. "she will." finneas sighs. "fine." i groan and stand up. i walk to the door and unlock it, opening the door to reveal billie. her face is red so she's either mad or sad, or both. right now i can't tell. "can we talk in my room please?" she asks. i look back at finneas, not wanting to be alone with her but also not wanting to make finneas witness what's about to happen. "okay." i agree and follow her to her room. i feel someone grab my arm and spin me around. "be careful. we need a safe word..... mango! yell mango if you need help." he orders. "okay finneas. if i'm in any danger, i'll yell mango." i laugh in agreement. "good luck" he smiles a little and kisses my forehead. "thanks finn" i say and hug him before walking into billie's room.

"so, what do you want?" i ask, leaning against the wall lazily to show i'm already bored of the conversation. "do you want to sit down or?" she asks. "i'm good here" i answer. "okay um.... listen, i'm sorry." she sighs. "for what? calling me a liar for telling you i got raped or for stopping me from doing something i've wanted to do for years?" i ask, folding my arms. "i'm not sorry for stopping you but yeah, i'm sorry for not believing you. drew has been my best friend for years so to hear that she did something so.... horrible is hard to believe." she explains. "that still gives you no right to call me a liar. you literally freaked out and broke up with me because i was fucking raped billie!" i shout at her. "i know and i'm sorry. i should've believed you." she sniffles.

fuck she's crying.

honestly, i don't fucking care anymore.

she should be crying.

god knows i cried for hours, possibly days over her because of that shit.

she has no right to call me a liar just because she can't believe her friend raped me.

why the fuck would i lie about that?

that's serious shit.

"yeah. you should've. now i'm going home because i honestly don't even want to look at you right now." i tell her, opening her door and walking to finneas's room to get my phone. "alexis please don't leave." she pleads as she follows me. "mango! mangooooooo" i sing as i knock on finneas's door continuously until he opens it and pulls me inside. "are you okay? did she hurt you in any way?" he asks, checking for marks. "no you dumbass she didn't hit me. i just need my stuff" i roll my eyes and smack the back of his head. "text me when you get home okay?" he orders. "will do." i nod and shove my phone in my pocket. "i'll talk to her. you just worry about getting home, staying safe and staying healthy." he assures me, wrapping me in a warm embrace. "thanks finneas. it means a lot to me." i sigh into his chest. "you mean a lot to me so it's the least i could do." he smiles a little and kisses the top of my head as i pull away from the hug. "i'll talk to you soon. i gotta go." i tell him. "okay. be safe." he says as he leads me to his door. right when he opens the door billie tries to grab me but finneas tears her from me and pulls her into his room as i walk out the door.

that was fucking dramatic.

i can still hear billie screaming for me to come back.

i hate that i can hear her crying but at the same time

bitch deserves it.