the hanging tree - billie eilish

the tree |6|

billie's POV

i'm sitting on my bed right now, writing finneas's letter. i start to tear up a little as i write it but i wipe the tears away. once i'm finished with it i put it in an envelope with the letters to my parents. i get up from my bed and change into different, comfortable clothes before walking out to the kitchen. 

"imma go for a walk. ion know how long i'll be gone" i tell finneas. "okay, i love you" he responds and hugs me. "love you too" i answer. i find my mom and dad in the living room and walk to them. "did you hear what i just told finneas?" i ask. "no" dad shakes his head. "i'm gonna go for a walk but ion know how long i'll be gone" i repeat. "okay, have fun" dad smiles. "be safe okay?" mom says, giving me a hug. "be safe" i mock her and laugh a little. "love you guys" i wave and walk to the door. "love you too" mom and dad reply in unison, giggling about it soon after. 

i turn music on in my earbuds as i walk and eventually i see the tree. i start to ready myself for what's about to happen, thinking over every possible way my family and friends will react. as i get closer i see a girl in all black sitting on one of the branches with a sketchbook. 

"aye, you alright?" i ask, looking up at her and trying to ignore the smell of marijuana as smoke dances from her lips. "oh, i'm just peachy." she says sarcastically. i look at the time, 8:15 pm. it's starting to get dark outside. "for real though, you good?" i repeat. "there's a reason this is called the hanging tree mamas" she answers. "true, true." i nod. "i suppose you came here to kill yourself yeah?" she assumes, hopping down from the branch. "maybe." i look down at my feet. "maybe i can give you a reason to stay." she smirks. "listen bro, you're really attractive but i'm straight." i laugh a little, avoiding eye contact. "what's your insta?" she asks. "wherearetheavocados." i tell her. "ight" she smiles, laughing a little at the name. she takes out her phone and tells me to check mine. i see that she followed me and check her profile.

alexis_legtough

8 15,129 666
posts followers following

alexis armstrong 

yes grandma, i still like girls 🥱

(ignore the rolling stones one, this is literally a screenshot of madison beer's instagram)

damn, she looks fine as fuck in that last pic. holy shit

i follow her back and i look down at the ground. "just gonna let you know, there is an old woman that lives in that house right there. she knows like everyone in la. she won't hesitate to call your parents and tell them where you are." she warns me, pointing at a house across the street. "shit." i groan, looking over and seeing the woman looking at us through her blinds, probably assuming we can't see her. "she called my mom a few months ago, telling her i was smoking. i ended up getting grounded for like two months" she explains, bringing the joint to her lips and taking a long inhale. she turns her head away from me and blows the smoke with the wind. "you want a hit?" she offers. "no, i don't fuck with that" i shake my head. "you sure? it could help" she urges. "nah, but thanks for offering." i deny, trying to be polite. "you should probably get home. this isn't the way to go. trust me." she suggests. "are you a demon or something?" i furrow my eyebrows, looking her up and down. "bitch, no! are you an angel?" she mocks me. "you got me there. you're probably right though. i should get home before that old bitch calls my mom" i nod, looking over at the woman and seeing her still staring at us. "alright. i'll text you" she smirks a little. "you're gonna be safe right? you're just sitting here?" i ask. "yeah, i'll be fine but i should probably be getting home too." she shrugs. "i'll see you around, billie" she winks and walks the way my house is. "i'm actually going this way too." i laugh a little. "ight, then let's walk together" she orders and stops, waiting for me to catch up.

the rest of the day i keep the image of that girl from the tree in my mind. other than the fact that she smokes, she seemed sweet. not to mention she's hot as fuck.

why am i thinking that?

she's a girl.

that's some gay shit right there.

not that i don't support it!

i fully support lgbt rights!

i'm not gay though.

sometimes i'll look at a guy and i'm like, shit bro i bet you're packin'. and then i look at his girl and i'm like, shit bro i bet you got fire mouth game. that doesn't mean i'm gay though. because then i look at myself and i'm like, shit bro, you ugly as fuck. and i'm a girl so....... what does that tell you?

i straight

i like penis

but that chick could get it

any day of the motherfucking week