I feel like the deeper I dig, the deeper I fall into a whole pit of nothingness just pure darkness. I sit here with so much truth, yet all things lies I do not know how but that is just how it feels.
When I got married my future was clearer to me, I would move to Fefe, live in their big castle, wait for the king to die as bad as that sounds, have Jurian become King, we have kids and live happily ever after but that is not the case and so many people are to blame.
I take off my ring allowing my finger to breathe…I do not have to pretend to be paralyzed because this ring does that to me, when it comes off I feel so much lighter, like I do not have to be here and that all I have to do is go home and give myself the break that I deserve but no, I am here trying to make sense of so many things.
My father, King of Fefe and Uka sent me to earth to find Supiona who was to give me the cure for my finger.
There are so many holes to that plan because I found the cure myself, all I have to do is reverse this marriage because Jurian and I are not meant to be. They wanted me to look for someone who they knew for a fact no longer existed…they sent me to earth for another mission and they are using my finger as a scapegoat.
I know now why my father would team up with the king of Fefe, but now it warrants two questions…why did they bring me here? And where are my two brothers?
Ugh!
I hate this, to look for clues only to find more questions…I need to speak to Marian.
I look at the sun as it reflects on the curtain in the room that I am
sleeping in.
It felt so good to be here, it felt like home, maybe because my real family was here and maybe because they bought me closer to the one person I have been trying to forget and that is my mother…nonetheless I need to go now.
I get up and I make my bed and then I open a portal to Pugh, ready to go yet on another hunt for something even I do not know to be looking for but I am sure my true search will show itself to me…and if not I can bet on the fact that I have my finger to guide me through it all.
#
I sit at the edge of Marian’s bed waiting for her to tell me what I need to know and she just looks at me as she rubs her eyes trying to fully wake up…I know that I had said that I would see her at noon but my heart and mind have been racing since last night…I need to know.
“So?” I say.
“Good morning to you too” she says.
“Yes girl hi, please what did you find out?” I ask.
“Okay, they want you and Jeff to fall in love”
“Euw why?!” I ask.
“I don’t know” she says lowly and having been best friends forever I can tell when she is lying to me.
“Marian?”
“Bella is pregnant” she says and my mouth drops and my heart sinks…Bella is what?
“Liana I am sorry” she says and I just nod and I blink so many times trying to stop the tears from coming out.
This is it…the end of a self-made fairy tale…the end of my once upon a time.
#
“Liana?” Trey says the minute he sees me on the couch in his room.
After I spoke to Marian I went for a walk and then I came back to earth and I got a call from Supiona saying that Trey got discharged so I decided to go to her house to see him but when I got here I found him sleeping so I just sat on the couch in his room.
“Oh hi” I say as I sit up straight on the couch. I was starting to fall asleep,
maybe it was better that way, it was better to close my eyes to reality and let my dreams take me to my fairytale.
“Are you okay?” he asks and I can only imagine how awful I look.
“Yes, how are you feeling?” I ask and he nods before getting out of bed and I stand up and I help him settle on his wheelchair feeling bad as ever…some people have bigger problems than my husband impregnating the woman he truly loves.
“Do you want to go somewhere?” I ask as I stand next to him ready to wheel him to wherever he wants to go.
“Yes, come” he says and I open the door and I follow his instructions and we head to the backyard where I see a room just next to the pool and then I open the door and I find a whole studio. So he actually makes music from home.
After I close the door he turns to me and then he tells me to sit down by the couch.
“So now let us try this again…what is wrong?” he asks me and I do not know how I feel about telling him what I had told Supiona already, I just do not have the energy to talk about why I am here.
“It’s a long story” I say.
“I know why you came to earth, grams told me, is that the problem?” he asks as he looks at my finger and I am glad that he knows why I am here…
“No, it’s Jurian” I say.
“Oh your lovely husband” he mocks and on a good day I would laugh but not today.
“He got someone pregnant” I say and then he looks at me with pity, there is no way that he feels my pain, this pain was custom made for me…no one but me could understand it.
“Well she is unlucky, now she has to carry a baby that has a permanent scowl on its face” he laughs and I smile…I can see that he is trying to cheer me up but nah.
“Does he love you?” he asks me.
“I wish he did, but like I told Supiona this marriage was arranged, I thought this would be like those books that I read, where we hate each other at first and then we fall in love and live happily ever after, but see I can’t compete with a baby” I say as tears go down my face.
“Oh Liana” he says and then he goes to the controls and a beat comes on.
“Come on go in there” he says.
“Why?”
“Because we both know…you communicate better with a beat than with a person” he says and I am glad that he has studied me enough to know what I need at this point. I wipe my tears away but it’s a failed attempt as the tears continue to fall down.
I enter the booth and I listen to the beat as it plays.
You love like I love or is it a front to hide you hate that we met but can’t go back in time? It’s not me that you want I can tell when I look into your eyes I see her, she is not here with you and I so why even through her absence we can’t form a bond baby?
See I know The love is absent it’s not me that you want, not me that you need I can tell, not me you will call when you are in need, even on your deathbed I can tell it’s not me that you want, not me that you need I can tell, it’s not me.
It’s not me that you want I can tell, you around me not with me and I know it’s not what you wanted, could never be what you need and I know you meant it when you said a ring means nothing when your heart is all she has now would you look at that…a kid is on the way I know I know
It’s not me that you want I can tell, when you wake up in the morning you thinking of her, held your hand it was cold, you looking at me at the corners of your eyes the hate is clear, the love is absent it’s not me that you want, not me that you need I can tell, not me you will call when you are in need I can tell, not me even on your death bed I can tell it’s not me that you want, not me that you want I can tell, it’s not me.
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
The Tales Of Unrequited Love
Viễn tưởng"It must be quite something, a feeling like this... it is quite something. Wanting someone for so long that in your head they were yours and with some twisted intervention they become yours but the universe just decides that no form of intervention...
