saccharine • wong hendery ✔️

forty three

The other members where outside, Lucas, Yangyang and Xiaojun were playing frisbee out in the park, where the grass was thick. The weather at night was usually nice. Especially tonight. There was a cold breeze and it was perfect to play outdoors without sweating a whole lot.

Winwin watched them with a huge grin on his face. It's really nice to get their minds off of things after a long two weeks of promotion. I had a genuine smile on my face, watching them have fun again.

"Ames?", Kun called out to me, the other two sitting around the table.
"Oh yeah.", I pulled out a chair and Kun sat beside me.
"What's happening? You guys seem different. Did they burn you out again?", my tone slightly getting a bit defensive.

"No really, it's not that.", Ten instantly replied.
"Remember when we went to the amusement park?", Kun started as he brought out his phone and started scrolling.
"Yeah?", I anticipated.
"Fans started posting this all over Weibo and Instagram.", he showed me his screen to reveal a picture of me and Kunhang hugging on the docks.

I suddenly felt my chest drop a little. My heart started beating faster and my throat had become dry.
I know what's going on now.

I shook my head in disbelief.
"No..", I whispered to myself.
I looked at Hendery, he had no expression. He stared intensely at his own hands, fidgeting like crazy.

"What? They followed us there?!", I suddenly raised my voice.
"Some of them knew where we were going. They saw us and they had cameras. It wasn't only the two of you they snapped pictures of.", Kun informed, suddenly in a very scared tone.

"No way.", I sighed, rubbing my face in frustration.
Kun shared more photos of the other members when we were at that park.

"We didn't even expect any fansites to come. It was our own private time. But they still sneaked in with their cameras. And we had no idea.", Ten informed.
Hendery still stayed silent, his body movements show that he's clearly just as anxious.

"A lot of people are sending bad comments about you and Hendery. Some were even threatening. They really don't like the idea.", Kun went on, sighing.
"It's become trending on twitter. Our fans are talking about it everywhere. A lot of them aren't fond of Hendery anymore.", he added.
"Oh my god.", I whimpered.

I felt genuine fear. And disappointment in myself. Maybe I never should've stayed longer.

"Our managers are so taken aback by that photo of the two of you. And umm, they want to talk with you soon. We don't know about the consequences yet though.", Kun said.

Yep, there will definitely be consequences.

"It's such a shame, we're already getting so much negative thoughts from people and we were just about to debut our first music video.", Ten scoffed.
He seemed very annoyed. In fact, I just remembered that he didn't know about us yet.
Panic, panic, panic; was all that was running through my brain right now.

'Ten hates me. He hates me. He'll never talk to me again, I kept a secret from him when we promised we would tell each other everything. I hid it from him. I knew I needed guidance and I never reached for him. Why was I so dumb? He's so mad at me, our friendship is damaged now.', is what my inner dialogue said.

I think my hands are trembling.

There was a good one minute of silence and it was super tense. Everyone is so dumbfounded right now. I messed it up, again. I made a mistake and this time it mattered because it affected my friends' career. What will happen to them now?
They're going to suffer because of my actions.