At Sixteen

Chapter 3

Narito lamang ako sa dart room at nakamasid lamang sa mga kateam mate kong naglalaro. Nakaupo lamang ako nang biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko at nakita ko ang text ni Dalaney sa akin.

From: Dalaney

Eyo Xiana, pumunta ka rito sa rooftop maganda ang sunset ngayon.

Nakapangiti ako nang mabasa iyon. It's been a week since we became friends, and we usually spend together in the rooftop to wait for the sunset. I immediately fetch my bag and say my goodbyes to my team as I walk away in our practice room.

While walking up to the rooftop I bump with Blue, I smile to him to greet him, and he smile back to me. I continue walking but the excitement runs to me as I run to the stairs until I reach the rooftop. I see her taking photos of the skies. She seems to notice me, and she turns her head towards me and greets me with a smile.

"I thought you wouldn't come, you didn't reply to my text." She ask me.

I am chasing my breath while walking towards her. I hold the hurdle of the railing while continue chasing my breath.

"Don't tell me you run to the stairs going here?" she nosily asks me and I nod to her.

I heard her laughing because of what I've done. Yeah, she's thinking now that I am crazy to run through the stairs going here.

"You're really is a crazy girl." She commented and I just smile to her.

Spending with her I understand that like gays lesbians are persons too. They have emotions and feelings but I found it weird. She's a lesbian, but she seems to be girly enough; the way she dresses and the way she moves. No wonder lots of men in our batch adore her, but they didn't know that this woman also likes a woman.

"Nah, I am too excited to watch the sunset." I answer and she nods.

She continues taking picture while I continue mesmerizing the beautiful sunset in front of us.

"Saan ka mag se-senior high?" I ask her.

She stops taking pictures and lean with the railings.

"Dito siguro, baka tatapusin ko lang ang Senior High at lilipat ng school for college; ikaw?" tanong nya at napatingin sa gawi ko.

Napainat naman ako ng aking katawan at bumuntong hiniga.

"Sa Australia." Tipid kong sagot sa kanya at napatingin sa gawi nya.

I look at her expression and I see she's a bit surprise when I said it. Maybe she's thinking that I am that phosphorus to afford studying abroad. I remove my sight to her and play with my hands.

"Natangap kasi ako sa scholarship sa isang school ron, sa Joondalup to be specific. They offer me a scholarship from senior high going to college." I continue telling her.

"Wow, so you're not going to continue studying here?" she asks and I nod to her.

"Anong course ba kukunin mo?" she continues asking.

"Nursing." Tipid kong sagot. "Advantage na rin kasi kung sa Australia ako magaaral dahil hindi ko na kinakailangang ma-take ng exam. In Australia, you will just apply for your license as a nurse, and besides napakababa ng sweldo rito. Walang justice for nurses here in the Philippines besides the toxic Filipino culture that will discriminate you for being a nurse. The equipments and facilities here in our country is not that sufficient." I rant to her, and she agrees to it by nodding.

"Ikaw ano bang kukunin mo na course?"

"MMA." She answers and I look at her with curiousity. "Multimedia Arts, I want to be a photographer. I want to capture every important moment in life of a person. In that way they can remember every single memorable experience in their lives." she answers and I nod to her.

"Grabe ang lalim, kailangan ko ata ng hagdan paakyat rito." Pagbibiro ko at natawa kaming pareho.

"Pero seryoso ang ganda ng mga pangarap natin sana makamit natin iyon." Saad ko sa kanya at napatingin sa langit.

Namuo ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa habang humahampas ang hangin sa aming mga balat.

"Xiana, why you didn't judge me when I said to you that I am a lesbian?" she asks and I look at her.

"Do I have the right to judge others? It is your perception and I have my perception, we should accept each other." I answer and smile at her.

Well for me people should respect and accept the opinion of others. Hindi naman kasi tamang ipagsiksikan mo ang kagustuhan mo at prinsipyo sa ibang tao kung ayaw nila.

"How mature of you." She compliments and I can't help myself smiling at it.

It was my first time receiving compliments about me.

"Not yet, it's just I can't see the point of judging you. It is your decision in life and I can't just say to you that Hey, you should be straight, it is a sin. I don't meant to offend others cuz it will kill me into my veins." I explain to her while giving her facial expression.

She laughs at me and I laugh in return. She stops at laughing at me and look to me. She looks directly into my eyes that last for a minute and I felt awkward for it. I remove my sight to her and I look to the sky.

"You were so simple, not like other teenagers." She said and I look at her.

I see her smiling at me. I don't know what she meant to it or maybe it is just me thinking that way.

"I just wonder, you are a lesbian and you are attracted to girls. What are your taste and how do you flirt with them?" I curiously ask her.

If men can simply approach the girl that they want but I wonder how lesbians do so their way?

"I haven't flirted with a girl until now. I don't have the strength to flirt with. Remember at the party that I introduce my sexuality to you? It is my defense mechanism if the girl wanted to talk to me or not but apparently you are the first girl who makes friends with me." She explains.

I got shock when she said that, so is she saying that everything around us is her first way of flirting a girl? Oh, holy crap.

"So you're saying that you are flirting with me? Do you like me, aren't you?" I ask her.

She got shock when I said that, she seems to be nervous, but she laughs at me. I get confused, am I dealing myself in my disgrace?

"Of course not, you are just my friend. I am sighting for a girl since grade eight but I don't have the strength to ask her. Maybe I'll stay adoring her apart." She asks.

I got shock, this can't be she should make a move with that girl; who ever that girl is.

"No, you should make a move to her. You should confess your love to her." I cheer but she just slap my arm and laugh.

"Don't be ridiculous Xiana. If I tell her and the school will found out, do you want me to be place on the wall of shame? And besides I will just love her in a distance, it doesn't matter her feelings to in the first place. As long as I'm assured that she's safe and happy, I'm happy with it. Being a lesbian here in this school and in the Philippines is so hard even saying your sexuality without any judgement it's hard already." She explains while looking to the clouds.

She looks so serious about it. I feel her; I've been there that I can't tell my true feelings for the man I love. But she's right it is hard to be part of the LGBT community here in the Philippines maybe because of the tradition and one major reason is the Religion.

"You know-" natigilan ako sa pagsasalita nang picturan nya ako.

Nanlaki ang aking mga mata nang makita iyon. Oh, fudge this woman, why the hell she loves taking me picture in unpredictable moment.

"Hell you, delete it." I snarl at her but she just laugh at me.

"Oh my gosh delete it." I command her but she continues taking me picture.

Is she insulting me? I am not that much photogenic, why does she need to take more pictures? I put my hands in my face and sit on my feet pretending that I am crying, I hope this will work to her. I hear she stops taking the picture; she seems to have guilt on doing it.

"Xiana, sorry I didn't mean to offend you." I heard her saying it as I feel her coming near to me.

I continue acting that I am crying and I felt her hands on my back; giving me comfort. Oh, I didn't know that she's easily to fool. I remove my hands on my face and surprise her that I am not crying.

Napaupo naman siya sa sahig nang gulatin ko siya. I continue laughing at her face is in the state of shock.

"You should see your face." I laugh at her.

She glares at me as she stands and removing the pieces of dust in her uniform. I continue smiling at her knowing that she's easily to fool.

"It isn't funny at all, I thought you're crying." She is acrimonious said.

I stop laughing at her when she said that, is she anger of my prank? I didn't mean to offend her.

"Are you angry?" I ask her but she didn't response.

I walk near her and hold her arm to say sorry, but she ignores me.

"I'm sorry." I sincerely said to her, but she didn't response.

I continue saying sorry to her until in my eight sorry she pinches my nose and it shocks me. She giggles at me while looking straight in my face.

"I'm not that immature person that will get mad in just a silly prank of yours, but it frightens me. I really thought that I really made you offended." She explains herself.

Her words are full of seriousness; well it is my first time meeting a person who is matured like me.

"Can you delete the picture for me?" I ask her and give her a puppy look eyes.

She gives me a disgusting face. I pout at her and glare, am I that ugly that she's been disgust with my face?

"Sorry but no." she said and bestows her hand in my head and scattered my hair.

I glare at her while raising my right eyebrow. Now she's the one who's messing with.

"What ?" she asks.

"Never mind." I ask and fix my hair.

I turn around at her, but she grabs my hand and turns me around to face her. She smiles at me while playing like a joker.

"I'm just kidding. I'll fix your hair no worries." She said to me.

I got confused I didn't know that a lesbian can know how to fix a hair. Oh, who am I kidding with? She is still a woman biologically, so she can still know how to understand woman.

She starts messing with my hair, the way she holds it was so smooth and soft. She seems like she's holding a child in her arms. After a few minutes I felt that she stops holding my hair.

"There you go." She said and I curiously hold my hair and I felt a pigtail braid in my head. I turn to her and smile.

"Woah, your great at it thanks." I complimented her, and she smiles to me as a response.

"Sorry I have to go already, lamapit nang gumabi." Saad ko sa kanya kasabay ang paglalakad ko papunta sa pinto.

"Hey wait sasabay na ako at baka makasalubong ko pa yung bata." Saad nya at napakunot noo naman akong napalingon sa kanya.

"Takot ka pala kay Amega?" gulat kong tanong sa kanya at natatakot naman siyang napatango sa akin.

Amega is the child ghost here in the campus. She is that child messing around with every last person in the campus. Usually she starts messing around with others when the clock hits by six. Others said that they can see her in the faculty room and in the comfort rooms here in the campus.

"Of course, sabi nga ng iba nagpapakita iyon tuwing six ng gabi." Saad nya sa akin at naglalakad papalapit.

Hinarap ko ang pinto at pinihit ang doorknob ngunit hindi ito mabuksan. Mukhang nalock na ata ng janitor ang pinto rito kung kaya't nakalock na.

"Nakalock?"Natatarantang tanong nya sa akin at napatango namana ko bilang tugon sa kanya. Nakita ko ang takot sa kanyang mukha, bata ba itong kasama ko o teenager?

"Hala anong oras na?" Aligagang tanong nya sa akin. Napatingin naman ako sa aking relo at nakita kong 5:59 na.

"5:59" kalamadong sagot ko sa kanya. Nakita ko namang mas lalong nanindig ang kanyang balahibo ng sabihin ko iyon.

Takot pala siya sa multo? Bata lang naman yung multo pero bakit mukhang takot na takot siya?

"Papaano tayo bababa?" Natatarantang tanong nya sa akin. I blankly look at her while trembling with fear.

Magsasalita na sana ako nang biglang tumunog ang Angelous, great it's already six in the evening. Nagulat ako nang may biglang sumigaw sa aking gilid. Agad naman akong napalingon at tinakman ang bibig nya.

"You are so noisy. Kumalma ka nga, dumadasal napakaingay mo." Suway ko sa kanya at napamake of peace naman siya sa akin.

Para naman'tong bata kung matakot. Hinawakan nya ang kamay ko at binaba nya iyon sabay tingin sa akin na natatakot.

"Pe-pero six na baka lumabas na si Amega." Natatakot nyang saad sa akin kaya natawa ako ng bahagya sa reaksyon ng mukha. Binitawan ko ang kanyang bibig.

"Para ka namang bata. Naniniwala ka sa multo?" I exclaim to her and she just nods.

Napairap naman ako at napabuntong hininga. I felt stress out of her.

"Papaano na tayo makakababa ngyon?" tanong nya sa akin.

"Wala magpapahabol lang tayo kay Amega." Blanko kong sagot sa kanya.

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang nagtago sa aking likuran at hinawakan ang aking uniform. Ramdam ko mula sa aking uniform ang kanyang panginginig.

"Wahhh paano na yan?" maiyak iyak nyang saad sa akin kaya natawa ako sa kanya.

"Teka lang nakakahalata na ako, sino bang lesbian sa ating dalawa? Ako ba o ikaw? Mukhang naging babae kana ata ah." Pagbibiro ko sa kanya kaya agad naman siyang napahiwalay sa akin.

"Ano man suntukan na lang man?" paghahamon nya sa akin kasabay ang pagiging siga siga nya.

"Si Amega oh nasa likod mo." Pagbibiro ko sa kanya kasabay ang pagnguso sa likod nya.

Agad naman siyang bumalik muli sa likod ng aking uniform. Napailing na lang ako sa mga naging asal nya.

"Xiana uwi na tayo natatakot na ako." Nanginging nyang saad sa akin. Napangiti naman ako sa sinabi nya, para naman siyang bata. Para siyang mga nakakabatang pinsan ko tuwing tinatakot ko.

"Oo na bitawan mo na ako." Saad ko sa kanya habang iniaalis ang kanyang kamay sa aking unifom.

"Ayaw ko hangang di tayo nakakababa." Saad nya na tila isang batang iiwan sa unang klase ng iskwela.

"Sige na nga." Saad ko sa kanya.

Naglakad ako papunta sa may gilid ng rooftop kung saan malapit sa may tanke ng tubig. Noong grade eight nakita ko kasing may hagdan rito pababa ng ikalimang palapag.

Nang makarating namin ron ay agad kong tiningnan ang gilid ng tanke para tingnan ang naroroon pa ang hagdan. Nang makita kong naroroon pa ay agad kong hinarap si Dalaney.

"Hindi ka naman takot sa matataas, hindi ba?" tanong ko sa kanya at umiling lang siya.

"Good baba tayo gamit iyang hagdan na iyan. Nakakonekta iyan sa 5th floor kung nakarating na tayo ron ay bababa tayo ng hagdan gets mo?" tanong ko sa kanya at tumango lang siya.

Nauna siyang bumaba ng hagdan, nang makarating na siya ng 5th floor ay sumunod na ako. Nasa kalagitnaan pa lamang ako ng pagbaba ko ng hagdan nang marinig ko siyang sumigaw. Ano na naman kaya ang nakita nya roon? Binilisan ko ang pagbaba ko ng hagdan. Nang makarating ako ng 5th floor ay agad siyang napahawak sa aking likuran.

"Xiana may tao don oh." Nanginginig nyang sabi sa akin kasabay ang pagturo doon sa dereksyon sa may madilim na parte.

Hindi ko maaninag ng maayos ang kanyang tiniuturo dahil na rin sa madilim na paligid. Pero sa dereksyon na kanyang tinuturo ay mukhang tinutukoy nya ang manikin na inilabas namin kanina.

"Manikin lang yan." Saad ko sa kanya

"Hindi tao yun." Saad nya sa akin.

Napabuntong hininga naman ako at kinuha ang cell phone ko para gawig flashlight. Nang nagkaroon na ng ilaw ay agad kong itinutok ang ilaw sag awing iyon at nakita naming manikin nga iyon.

"Sabi sa iyo." Saad ko sa kanya kasabay ang paghila sa kanya pababa ng hagdan.

Hawak hawak ko lamang ang kanyang kamay pababa ng hagdan hanggang sa marating namin ang ground floor.

"Paano mo alam na manikin lang yun?" nagtatakang tanong nya sa akin habang naglalakad kami papunta ng gate.

"Kasi kami ang naglabas ng manikin na iyon kanina kaya alam ko." Sagot ko sa kanya at natawa naman siya kaya napangiti na lang ako at hinayaan siya para mabawasan ang takot nya.

Nang makalabas kami ng gate ay agad kaming nagpaalam sa isa't isa. Naglakad siya patungo sa sasakyan nila habang ako ay naglalakad papunta ng main gate. Agad akong pumara ng jeep pauwi ng bahay namin. Walking distance lamang ang bahay namin sa iskwelaahn kung dadaan ng back gate. Ngunit napaka delikadong dumaan roon kung gabi.

Habang nasa jeep ako ay bigla akong nakatangap ng text. Agad ko namang kinuha ang phone ko at tiningnan kung sino iyon. Baka hinahanap na ako ng aking mga magulang ngunit nakita ko lamang ang text ni Dalaney.

From: Dalaney

Thank you at nabawasan ang takot ko habang bumababa. At salamat a rin pala sa deep talks natin kanina.

Napangiti lang ako sa kanya at inilock ang aking phone. Wala rin naman kasi akong load para makapagreply sa kanya.