After I fell

chapter 20> Feelings are a passage.

So many times we try to bury how much hurt we have caused other people and sometimes we feign not to care or we don't even care at all. Maybe it's just because we don't know what to do to fix the situation after all.

Lia's POV.

"Heyyy lia!"
Jace said and for a second i wondered why he has his arms locked around my best friend's waist.

Oh yeah mel and jace had numerous "flings" while me and sanè were busy with trying to make sense out of our situation. Sanè and i decided it was best to be friends and just watch as things roll naturally. I couldn't get keisha out of my head and neither could he let go of all the hurt he inflicted on her and himself in the past. Hurt is something i could never understand. It's something that just takes over your feelings and dictates how you react sometimes. It was this feeling I've always hated and always wanted to escape from. My mom was still not speaking to my dad and he didn't seem to care but i could tell that this cold hearted man felt hurt and for a spilt second i really hoped he could feel it exactly the way i did all those years he rejected and put me on the surface.

"Uhm wow y'all weren't joking"
I replied sarcastically.

"Well hello to you too won't have been bad either"
Jace said as he kissed mel on the cheek and made his way away from us.

"Lia you said you were going to try to understand"
Mel said looking at me like she was hurt.

"Understand what melanie? You suddenly developing feelings for jace! To be honest it's bull!!!"
I yelled at her without even realizing it.

"I've been your friend for a long time now when are you going to be mine? It's tiring already"
Mel said and walked away.

"I'm not wrong and I'm not going to apologize"
I kept chanting to myself as i walked to my next class.

She was wrong and she didn't know what she was getting into. Love isn't something you just feel after numerous flings. She's making a bad decision and i was going to save her like i always do. She can be mad for all she wants. She'll later realize I'm saving her from the hurt.

"Good morning class! I'm sad to have to tell you that one of your classmates transferred out of the school for some family reasons-"
Mrs winterhood our homeroom teacher went on before she was cut off.

"Was it sanè?"
Carmen one of my classmates went on.

It actually made sense. Sanè probably left again. He hasn't been to school since we got back from the field trip and we haven't talked much apart from the casual "hey" and "hi". It just was never meant to be and yeah i was fine with that i guess. I really hope i was for real. A little part of me was scared of what i would do without sanè here with me and without mel as well. I was completely alone. I really was.

"Please don't interrupt me miss carmen. And yes you're right mister sanè Aguerò transferred from the school yesterday. I'm also happy to inform you all that we have a new student as well"
She said and i felt the hurt all over again. The pain and sadness i never wanted to feel after my mom and dad left in the past. It was like it was happening all over again. I was alone again.everyone always end up leaving me.

The new student walked in and behold he was every one dreams and of course there were yells here and there and mutterings from the guys. Even with all this drama going on i remember vividly how sanè walked into this same classroom months ago and i couldn't ignore how much it hurt.

"Ma'am may i be excused?"
I asked mrs winterhood and immediately i made my way out. It was really hard to breathe as i walked out and the questions kept on hitting me and i had no answers to any of them.