After I fell

chapter 11> Bridges fall too.

For this chapter i recommend you listen to "could have been by H.E.R ft Bryson tiller" while reading.

There are times we believe that what destroyed us is our safest place and we can't help but keep escaping back to what hurt us the most and scary past is we forget the hurt and defend it by claiming it was a moment of confusion.

Sanè POV.

I can't seem to get that moment out of my head and the more i try the harder it gets to be able to explain how things spiraled out of control. I literally thought i had control over everything that happens to me until you said those words to me.
" You're "
I'm what's wrong?? How could i be? I tried to stay the hell away from you. I'm poisonous for you. I know I'll destroy you if i was given the chance but dumb you won't even listen to that part and run as fast as your dumb legs can carry you. Lia what the hell do you want from me.

"Sanè no more added days to your break you leave for school immediately"

My angry mom said and i couldn't argue with her whenever she gets that way.

She was right i had already added six more days to a three days break. I couldn't go to school more importantly i couldn't face lia and i don't know why, i don't even owe her anything.

"Yes mom I'll get in the shower right away"
I replied trying to be cunning .

"No smart ass you leave now "
She replied knowing fully well I've already had my shower and was attempting to escape her.

"Fine you got me"
I replied as i picked up my backpack and made my way out of my room.

"I did give birth to you smart ass"
She replied as she gave me a pat on the back.

"Mom am i capable of loving"
I said without even realizing until i poured it all out.

"Son why would you even-"
She went on but i decided to cut her off.

"Mom i gotta go bye "
I replied as i walked away from her and i wondered where all these was coming from this wierd feelings, this tragedy sugarcoated in feelings that I'm so desparately trying to avoid.

On my way to that godforsaken school i couldn't imagine what i would do if i mistakenly ran into lia. I mean how bad could it be. I could have just told her right there and then that karen meant nothing to me and she would ask why i was telling her.

Fuckkk i definitely didn't think this through. What the hell will i tell her when I'm not even sure of what in the balls sack is going on.

"Sanè?"
I definitely recognize that voice because it was the one that threatened me over the phone few days ago.

"Mel what can i do for you"
I said trying to act all smug and forget about the phone call.

"Really you dumb shit! I wonder why the fuck i thought you were amazing in the beginning"
She replied which almost sounded like a rant.

"Mel I'm going act like this didn't happen. I'm not responsible for your cry baby ass wake the fuck up"
I replied trying to sound as mean as i could.

I just had to make it believable i was an asshole. I'm an asshole anyways so It's a win win.

"Lia was so wrong about you. Dumb girl was so sad and worried about you"
Mel replied sounding so angry.

"Worried??that's bullshit"
I said angrily.

I was right though i mean i went MIA for six days no calls no texts or nothing from lia. Yes i did feel bad about what happened at the resturant but at the same time i owe her no goddam explanation and to top it all she lacked balls and sent her servant to call and rant to me about being inconsiderate. Fuckk inconsiderate about what?? Lia is just one fuckkking mystery and I'm sure as hell not going there.