How to break a heart

On the roof

Texting:

Angelica:

Alex I need to talk to u.

Alexander:

Affirmative. Meet me at school in ten.

**Time skip**

I look around. I'm at Yorktown high, but I can't see Alexander anywhere. Where is he? I'm actually grounded right now, but I just went through the window.

"Alex.... Hello?" No one is here.

"Hi!" I hear Alexander shout. I'm relieved. I thought maybe he just didn't come.

"Where are you?"

"Look up!"

I do, and there he is. Sitting on the school roof three storeys up.

"Alexander! That's so dangerous!" I cry.

He laughs. "Climb up!"

"NO!"

"Oh.... Is Jellie scared?"

Grrrr. I hate it when he calls me that. You know what, why not? Life is to be lived.

I climb the drainpipe snaking up a wall, not looking down. I finally arrive at the top.

"You're actually CRAZY, Alexander!"

He smiles. "All the best people are."

He pats the space next to him and I slump down next to him.

"What if we die?"

"We're all gonna die one day. It's inevitable."

"Wow. Pretty morbid."

"So, what do wanna talk about?"

Oh right.

"Well, at home, everything's all messed up. You've went through way more than me. But you would really understand. I'm sorry. I know it's not your problem. I'm sorry, I'm being selfish. I'm-"

"Sorry?"

"Yeah..."

"You say sorry way too much."

"Sorry..."

I slap my hand into my forehead. Urghhhh. It's a habit.

"Angelica, I really don't mind talking about stuff. It's not exactly torture. So don't apologise. Also, don't apologise there was less death in your life than mine."

"Oh. Sorry."

He laughs.

"Hey!"

"If I could make a list of all the times you've said sorry..."

"Oh? We're talking about habits? I'll give you habits. How come you stroke your hair every ten seconds?"

I imitate him, pulling a face and running my hand through my hair repeatedly.

He swats at the air in front of me, not trying to actually hit me.

I glare at him.

"If I fall off this roof, my ghost is so suing!!"

"If you're a ghost, you literally CAN'T sue." He exclaims.

"Shut up."

He does.

"You know, it's a nice view up here. Do you come up often?"

"Yeah, sometimes. Mainly when I'm sad or just need some space. I love it up here. It makes me feel empowered being above everyone else. Inspired, you know? That with the right attitude, a working brain and a little perseverance, you can make impossibles possible."

We sit in silence for a bit. The sun is setting, over the trees lining the school premises and the stars are starting to peep out from hiding in the sky. It's beautiful.

Alexander strokes his hair again and I point at him, laughing. He sticks out his tongue.

It's started to get a little cold up here and I shiver. Alexander notices and takes off his hoodie. He hands it to me.

"But then you'll be cold."

"Nah, I'm fine."

"But I don't need it."

"Shush and put the dang hoodie on!"

I reluctantly drape it over my shoulders.

He snorts.

"Angelica, it's not a punishment."

I ignore that comment and stare up at the sky. The constellations are scattered across the sky.

Alexander takes my hand and I don't really care. Yes, he broke my sister's heart and countless others. But he also opened up to me about the most traumatic experiences of his life.

I turn to him. "Alex, it's getting pretty late. I might go-"

And then he kisses me. And for a moment, I'm not thinking. I'm letting it happen. I'm putting a hand on his neck. I'm being so selfish. It's everything I've wanted a first kiss to be. (We're NOT including John Church) But when he pulls away and looks deep into my eyes, I can't do it. I have to go. I can't fall in love with him. I can't do it.

"I-I can't. You know I can't! Why are you doing this to me?"

Alexander says nothing.

"Eliza and you were.... I'm sorry. I just can't."

"But if you want to, do it. Life is to be lived and she can't stop you."

"But I love her. I love my sisters more than I love myself. If it helps, of course I want to love you. I do..."

I climb back down the drainpipe, not looking back.