Let's Hurt Tonight

41

Amelia

I sit on the guest bed, staring ahead of me. I really don't want to leave. I'm not ready to go home and to start school again, and I am definitely not ready to leave Harry. I've grown rather attached to him over the past couple weeks.

I wasn't necessarily ready to get in a relationship when I first met him but then something clicked and I realized I was starting to catch feelings for him. I couldn't stop the fall. I thought going slow would be the answer but it didn't work for Harry because he wanted to know I was going to be here for him when he's traveling and working. Of course I didn't mind making things official so soon, but I fell hard and fast and now I'm heavy-hearted because I need to leave.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks me from the door way.

I quickly stand up before my emotions can get the best of me and turn to face him. 

Harry, although he has a sullen look on his face, looks charming with his short hair. His curls are significantly more bouncy today and I think it suits him well. He's been glowing since the cut. I know he was a bit self conscious the first day but I think he's finally starting to come around, also. 

"Yeah," I respond, faking a smile at him. "Just thinking."

Harry sighs heavily and walks towards me, engulfing me in a tight hug. I quickly wrap my arms around him and hold him close to me, trying to remember every detail of him from the smell of his cologne to the way his arms feel around me.

Neither of us says a word as we stand there hugging. I don't really know what there is to say. We talked for hours last night and exchanged our sappy goodbyes, but now it's time for the real goodbyes and we are at a loss for words.

After a couple of minutes, Harry and I pull away and he takes my hand in his, silently leading me down the stairs. My luggage is already by the door and I'm all ready to go. I've been ready for hours, actually.

Physically, that is. Mentally, I don't think I'll ever be ready.

"Do you have everything?" Harry asks me.

I nod. I know all of my clothes and such are packed in my large suitcase and my phone and plane ticket are in my purse. The only thing I would be missing is Harry but obviously I can't take him with me.

"I think so," I reply.

I feel my heart growing heavy again as the two of us grab my belongings - Harry taking my suitcase and I my purse. I make sure to take one last glance around before exiting Harry's house and walking outside to the car. Part of wants to stay planted right here, purposely missing my flight but I decide to just rip the bandaid off all in one go and walk away before I overthink it too much.

I notice the car outside is the same one and driver as last time. The man immediately comes over and takes the suitcase from Harry, putting it into the trunk of the car. I'm half expecting to bid Harry farewell right here, but he opens the car door for me and slides into the backseat after I get in.

It's silent as we begin our drive, but I'm grateful when Harry starts speaking because I didn't know if I could start without being emotional about it.

"Mum really likes you. She told me after dinner the other night," he tells me.

I look over at him and smile. 

"I'm glad. I really like her too. Maybe we can all hang out again sometime?" I suggest.

Harry nods, a smile forming on his face.

"I'd like that and I know she would too. My sister, Gemma, is also dying to meet you so if you'd like to meet her too we can set something up," he says.

"Of course I want to meet her, too, Harry," I tell him.

"I'll call her later and see what she's up to in the near future. And maybe...maybe you can come out to London for a day or two? When you're free of course. It's just that Robin wants to meet you, too, but I don't think he can fly so I thought maybe we could do a surprise visit or something like that..."

My heart breaks at Harry's words. I lift Harry's hand up and kiss it gently, letting my lips linger for a second. I know Robin's illness has a big impact on him. He hasn't said much about it but every now and then a comment will slip. I couldn't stand watching one of my loved ones go through the pain like Robin is. 

"Let me know when you want to do it and I'll make sure I'm free," I tell Harry, honestly.

The rest of the ride to the airport is quiet. It's just Harry and I holding hands the whole time and gazing out the window. I wish the hard part of leaving was over already. I hate the lead up. It's almost worst than actually being alone.

Once we reach the airport, our driver pulls up in front of the domestic flights drop off. As he's getting my luggage, Harry and I exit the vehicle. Once outside, Harry immediately puts the hood of his sweatshirt up and sunglasses on so that nobody recognizes him, although I don't really think anyone is paying attention because they're all trying to catch their flights.

"I'll wait in the car, Mr. Styles," the driver says before turning to me. "It's been a pleasure, Amelia. I hope to see you soon."

"Thank you, Liam. I hope to see you, too," I tell the man, causing him to smile before he walks to the front of the car.

Harry grabs both of my hands in his when we are left alone, rubbing the backs of them with his thumbs. Even with his sunglasses on, I can tell he's forlorn. His forehead creases and the corners of his mouth are downturned.

"You don't understand how much I'm going to miss you," he tells me, quietly, causing my heart to split right down the middle.

"I'm going to miss you, too," I tell Harry. "So much."

My heart aches. I miss when he was in New York indefinitely. Although we weren't a couple yet, it was carefree and I didn't have to worry about when I would see Harry next. Now the future is so up in the air and it causes me both grief and anxiety. 

"I promise to come out to you as soon as possible. I don't know exactly when it'll be but when I'm done working on the album and all the other promotional things lined up in California and London, I'll be in New York," Harry tells me. 

"I look forward to it," I say to him.

"And I'll make sure to call and text you whenever can. My schedule is fairly busy coming up so I don't know when I'll be free or for how long but I promise to keep in contact. I won't do what I did last time we were apart for a while, which I'm still sorry about -"

"Harry, it's okay," I cut him off, laughing slightly at his rambling. "We're not at that place anymore. I trust that you won't ignore me."

Harry lets go of my hands and pulls me to him in a tight embrace. I feel tears prick my eyes and it's only a matter of time before they start falling. I shouldn't feel as sad as I am. Harry and I have only been together for a couple of months, and even less so officially, but I can't help it. I feel very strongly for him and there's no denying I'm going to miss him a lot.

This is partially why I didn't want to get involved romantically. I didn't want the sorrow and misery that came with it.

The two of us pull apart and Harry leans in, pressing his lips to mine. Our kiss is poignant and filled with so many emotions that I can't even comprehend. Before my feelings or actions can escalate, though, I pull away from Harry's lips and kiss his cheek before turning to take get my luggage.

"Call me when you get in," Harry tells me as I hop on the curb.

I smile at my boyfriend and try to take one last mental picture of him right now.

"I will," I tell him.

I stand there for a moment, the thought of running back into Harry's arms briefly crossing my mind. But with one last wave, I turn and walk away into the airport, leaving him standing there watching as I go.