Let's Hurt Tonight

47

Amelia

It's dark in this room when my swollen and crusty eyes squint open. The heaviness in my head and chest makes it difficult to piece together where I am, but then it comes to me - I'm on the floor in one of Harry's spare bedrooms. 

As I come to, memories flood my brain of last night. Or at least I think it was last night...I'm not sure how long I was sleeping for. I can't tell if it's night right now or very early morning. 

The last thing I remember is toppling over while sobbing quietly to myself, laying down on my side until I ultimately fell asleep. It sounds pathetic, which I suppose it was, but I was so distraught over those vicious words Harry said. I'd like to believe he didn't actually mean them, but at the time they felt so real. They felt worse to hear than my last breakup. 

I rub my eyes with my fingers, grateful I don't have any makeup on. That would have been a disaster, more than it already is. 

I stand up and briefly debate going to sleep in the bed in this bedroom, but part of me wants to find Harry first. The house is quiet leading me to believe he might be asleep himself, but I'd sleep better knowing he's at least here. As hurt as I am with what he said to me, I still care about him and want to make sure he's alright. 

After stretching my stiff body, I slowly unlock the door and twist the handle, ultimately pulling it open. The hallway is exceptionally dark with very little light streaming in it, but I can just barely make out the sleeping body slumped against the wall across from the door. 

Harry. 

My heart breaks again at the sight of him. I'm not sure if it's because I'm still upset with what he said, which I am, or if it's because I feel slightly guilty that he fell asleep waiting for me to come out of my room. I never want to be that person but I just needed some time to myself. I needed to gather my thoughts and subsequently, I cried so hard I wound up passing out from sheer exhaustion. 

I hesitantly walk over to Harry and crouch down to his level. His eyebrows are furrowed as he sleeps, and his lips are parted with small snores coming out of his mouth. His eyes also look lightly swollen like he, too, was crying but I can't be too sure. The lighting isn't the best right now. 

"Harry," I whisper, my voice coming out more hoarse than I wanted. "Harry." 

I place a hand on his shoulder and lightly shake him until he begins to stir. Slowly his eyes open and he blinks a couple of times, focusing his vision on me. 

"A-Amelia?" he whispers back, almost as if he's in disbelief that I'm right in front of him. 

I open my mouth to respond to him but before I can, he awkwardly lurches forward and wraps his arms around me in a hug that nearly knocks me backwards. 

"I'm so sorry," he breathes, holding me close to him as if he fears I'll leave him again. "I'm so, so sorry."

I wrap my arms around Harry as well and run a hand up and down his back, soothing him as he shakily breathes. 

"I know," I tell him, not quite ready to forgive him but wanting to acknowledge his apology. 

"You're so important to me, Amelia. More than anyone," Harry continues. He then sniffles which leads me to believe he's crying, causing my own tears to form. "I didn't mean it. Sometimes when I get angry I just - I just say things without thinking and most of the time they're complete bullshit. This was one of those times." 

I close my eyes, trying to keep my feelings at bay but I find it increasingly hard as my emotions bubble up inside of me. 

"You really hurt me, Harry," I tell him, softly.