Let's Hurt Tonight

17

Amelia

I haven't seen Harry in about a week and I've been starting to wonder if my family scared him away. We've talked briefly here and there, but not frequently. Not like we used to, although that sounds dramatic because I haven't exactly known him that long.

As I sit on my couch, staring out the window at the city, I wonder if Harry will remember that my birthday is today. It's not a huge deal I suppose, but I'll admit that it bothers me. It's been on the back of my mind all day. He made it a point of figuring it out when we were at my parents' house so it's disappointing to think that he already forgot. 

I hate feelings, and I hate how I was starting to develop them for Harry in more than a platonic way. I feel stupid. 

"He'll call," Shannon tells me, causing me to briefly turn and look at her. She's clad in a black leotard with a pink pom-pom on the back and a pair of bunny ears on top of her head. Her makeup is also done to perfection and tied together with a red dot on her nose and whiskers drawn on to match the bunny costume.

I nod and turn back around and focus outside. It's a pretty fall afternoon. The sun casts a glow on the city and the breeze coming in through the window smells crisp. I wish I was home so I could go pumpkin picking with my family like we used to. I hate having to miss out on the festivities but I can't afford to take the train home any time I please. It's nearly $25 one way and I need to save it for when I really need it. I can barely afford to live here as it is with the little savings in my bank account.

I did buy a couple of pumpkins from the local supermarket though but it doesn't have the same appeal to me as going to pick them from the field. I miss all the fall festivities. The corn fields, the hay rides, the pumpkin picking. They're some of my favorite things to do.

"What time are you leaving?" I ask Shannon, turning my back to the window only to find her gone from where she just was.

"What?" she calls from her bedroom. 

"What time are you leaving?" I ask a little bit louder.

"Four!"

I furrow my eyebrows. That seems early. What party starts at four in the afternoon, especially on Halloween? Usually, they all start around eight, at the earliest. Eleven is typically where things pick up though.

"Isn't four early?" I ask when Shannon comes back into the room, not to sound judgmental but just out of curiosity. Perhaps I don't go out enough to know.

She shrugs.

 "A little but we're going to be pregaming," she tells me. "I think Josh's party starts at 6 and then we'll go to Adrianne's," she says in reference to some of her friends. 

I nod. I guess that makes sense. I haven't been out in a little while so the pregaming ritual slipped my mind. College parties just haven't appealed to me recently like they used to. I finished that phase after my sophomore year. 

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Shannon asks me when I don't answer. She looks at me with pleading eyes, although I know she doesn't really care if I'm not going or not. She just feels bad about leaving me here all alone. "I don't want to leave you on your birthday."

She mentioned it to me several times before but I just can't bring myself to go. I don't have a costume and I, quite frankly, just don't want to go. I like my little tradition of handing out candy to the kids in the apartment complex, although a part of me knows that none will come. Over the past couple of years, the numbers have dwindled. I'm assuming they go to more suburban areas where they can get three times as much candy, as well as actually be able to walk around a proper neighborhood.