Let's Hurt Tonight

26

Amelia

I've been humming one of Harry's songs, called 'Kiwi', all day to myself. I can't get the damn thing out of my mind and it's actually quite maddening. But honestly I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. It has a heavy rock feel to it and the lyrics are fun and easy to sing. They make no sense, which Harry said was kind of the point since it was just a way for him to release pent up energy, but that almost doesn't matter with a song like this. It doesn't need a deep meaning or anything. It's just one of those songs that you listen to to have a good time. 

I sigh and smile to myself as I think back to last night. We spent hours at the studio, talking about Harry's album and picking through songs. Eventually almost everyone trickled out, leaving just Harry, Mitch, and I. 

The three of us wound up listening to music, some of it Harry's but most of it not, and drinking some champagne that Mitch had in the back of his car. He also whipped out a joint that apparently he keeps in his glovebox for 'emergencies' and him, Harry and I passed it around. I'm not a huge smoker, not by any means, but I felt safe with them so it was nice to just let go for the night. 

Afterwards, after some gibberish conversations about I can't even remember what, Harry called us a driver and brought Mitch back to his hotel and me back home before he was ultimately let off at his own hotel. I think part of him wanted to ask me to spend the night since he kept making cheeky comments in our inebriated state, but he kept it together and walked me to the door of my home like a true gentleman, leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek. 

I can't explain it, but it just felt right being there with Harry and Mitch last night. I've been stuck in this fog, my mind constantly thinking "this is all too surreal to be with Harry Styles". But last night, I was completely and utterly in the moment. 

This is real. I don't know what force above made us knock into each other on the streets of New York City, but I'm glad it did. I feel like I've had some sort of revelation or turning point where I've just finally come to terms with everything going on in my life - or rather new life I suppose. I guess I just feel like all of this was meant to happen. 

"You're awfully happy," my mom says to me, taking me out of the trance I was in while thinking about last night. 

I try to suppress my smile but I physically cannot. What's happening to me? Why am I like this? There's no specific reason for me to be so happy right now but here I am, smiling like a fool in my kitchen while I sip a glass of water. 

"I'm just thinking..." I respond vaguely. 

I'm grateful Mom doesn't ask anymore questions because he's probably have a stroke if she found out what I was doing last night. She's immediately cut off by the sound of my brother, Charlie, running through the house singing 'I Believe I Can Fly' at the top of his lungs, a usual occurrence nowadays. I'm not quite sure what started the phase, but it's been nonstop since I got home for the holidays. I think it was on the radio one day and for some reason it just resonated with him.

"Oh my God," Dad groans, walking into the room. "If he doesn't knock it off, I swear I'll fucking - "

"Todd," Mom scolds him shooting his a death glare. 

Dad looks at her, his eyes wide and his hands held out in a ridiculous gesture.

"It's constant. For three excruciatingly long weeks he has been singing it relentlessly," he complains. "I can't fucking deal with it."

"Dad said a bad word!" Charlie yells from another room - the living room I think but I can't be sure. 

"Jesus Christ," Dad mutters under his breath.