My Fandom Imagines/Oneshots

If Act 2 Of "Hamilton" Were Told By A Newscaster

[A/N: I'm gonna do Act 2 because there's more drama!]

Voiceover: Coming to you live from CyberArts Studios in New York City, it's The Broadway News Show! And here's your host Mark Cohen!

Mark: Hello and welcome to the Broadway News Show! My name is Mark Cohen, and we're going to be recounting the news that shook the world! Our top story tonight, Thomas Jefferson, yes THE Thomas Jefferson has just returned from France and I just heard that he is chosen by President Washington to be his Secretary of State! When asked about his feelings on this position being granted to him, here is what he had to say!

(Cut to Jefferson)

Jefferson: I initially wanted to just work from home at Monticello, but President Washington insisted, and I just couldn't say no to him! I am looking forward to representing and fighting for the South!

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: No doubt will he be good for the job! He has a lot of experience in France! (Putting hand on earpiece) Wait, WHAT?! No way! This just in! I have received reports that the first Cabinet Meeting was full of fighting, and it ended with Alexander Hamilton calling Jefferson, and I quote, "Useless as two [bleeps!]". When asked about his strong choice of words, here is what Hamilton had to say.

(Cut to Hamilton)

Hamilton: It's not MY fault that his skull is too thick to realize that we NEED this plan for our country to run smoothly! I regret nothing!

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: Ooh! Looks like Hamilton and Jefferson did not start on the right foot...hold on...(Putting hand on earpiece) Breaking news! Hamilton, Jefferson, and Madison are holding a dinner party compromise! Sources say that it's about votes for Hamilton's plan! I don't have much details now, but please stay tuned! We will be right back from after these messages!

(After a commercial break)

Mark: And we're back! I just received more details about Hamilton, Jefferson, and Madison's compromise! Looks like our capitol will be moved from New York to Washington DC! And apparently Aaron Burr had something to say about this!

(Cut to Burr)

Burr: Okay, the thing is... I don't like that I didn't have a say in a decision THIS big and... oh, I'm sorry, I have to go.

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: Well, looks like he just wants a piece of the action to me. (Putting hand on earpiece) (Gasps) Breaking news! I just received word that Philip Schuyler has lost his senate seat! And the person he lost it to is none other than Aaron Burr! Hamilton DID have something to say, but we cannot broadcast it here because it breaks our standard of decent language. But here is what Senator Burr had to say.

(Cut to Burr)

Burr: Well, I changed parties to seize the opportunities that came my way! I don't see why Hamilton and I should stop remaining friends because of this.

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: Also, on another note, today's Cabinet meeting is whether or not we should assist France in their Revolution. Jefferson and Madison are on the pro side of this, and Hamilton is calling for us to remain neutral. (Puts hand on earpiece) Oh, okay! I have just received word that George Washington has declared NEUTRALITY on the matter. Here is what Thomas Jefferson had to say about this.

(Cut to Jefferson)

Jefferson: Okay, SOMETHING is up here. Washington is CLEARLY playing favorites!

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: (Puts hand on earpiece) WHAT?! OH MY GOODNESS... Everyone! I have just gotten news that George Washington is stepping down as President after two terms! When asked about his decision, here is what he had to say.

(Cut to Washington)

Washington: I decided to step down because it is for the good of our country. We need to teach them how to say goodbye, so we can learn to move on.

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: Former-Vice-President-Now-Turned-President John Adams has replaced Washington as President, and as always, Alexander Hamilton had something to say... and again, we cannot broadcast it here. Although Adams DID taunt Hamilton, too, and... wait...(Puts hand on earpiece) NO WAY! (Urgent tone) This just in! Alexander Hamilton has just published a 95-page pamphlet where he reveals the steamy details of his 6 year adulterous affair with a Miss Maria Reynolds! We have tried to check on his wife, Eliza, but she insists on having no comment! However, her sister, Angelica did have something to say.

(Cut to Angelica)

Angelica: I can't believe him! He really invented a new kind of stupid! There's a thousand choice words that I want to use right now, but... y'know...decency!

Peggy: And I'm Pe--

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: And that's all the footage we have because we only have time for  people who actually affect the plot [A/N: NO hate to Peggy! I love her! It's just a joke on the "and Peggy" meme]. BREAKING NEWS! I have just received word that Alexander Hamilton's son, Philip Hamilton has DIED from a gunshot in a duel! My sincerest condolences to the Hamilton family!

Mark: Ooh! This just in! The newest election numbers are in, and it's a tie and... (puts hand on earpiece) Oh my gosh! I have just gotten word from a source that Hamilton has broken the tie and voted for Thomas Jefferson! Congratulations to newly elected President Jefferson! I wonder what the other candidate, Aaron Burr, has to say about this...

(Cut to Burr)

Burr: This is... this is very outrageous! It's Hamilton that has poisoned my political pursuits!

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: Uh oh! I have just heard that Aaron Burr has challenged Alexander Hamilton to a duel! More to follow on this story after the commercial break!

(After the break)

Mark: And we're back! I have just received word that the reason Burr challenged Hamilton is that he feels that Hamilton is the reason he has failed! And... (puts hand on earpiece) Oh no! Alexander Hamilton has been shot in the ribs and he has died! When asked about this, here is what Eliza Hamilton had to say

(Cut to Eliza)

Eliza: I will put myself back in the narrative and try to tell my Alexander's story! I will do everything I can!

(Cut back to Mark)

Mark: That's so sweet! That's all the time we have today! Up next, a boy in a White subarb has raised $50,000 for The Connor Project! More to come after this!