Forbidden love (MGE harem fanfic)

Chapter 68: Eternity of agony

Two days later, Sarah's point of view...  

The past two days have been somewhat interesting. We thought we were making progress but after we gained his trust to a point where he would attack us he seemed to close himself off. Against the wishes of everyone I sat inside the makeshift cell that was made. I've made multiple attempts to start a conversation but my words were just deflected. I could hardly tell if they were being registered at all.
"Please, Y/N, just say something." I sighed.
He looked up and shook his head.
I stood up and he looked back down for a second.
As I took a step towards him he looked up and quickly moved back.
"Please, just give me a chance."
He looked up and cautiously reached out. I put his hand in my paw and gently squeezed it.
"See, nice right?"
He shrugged but when I moved closer he didn't stop me.
"I want you to know that I'm going as slowly as I feel is necessary. Vin could tell us what you went through however you didn't like that process before, I wouldn't want to traumatize your now." I said.
"Th-thank you." He stuttered.
I sat silently as I tried to think of what to say but to my surprise Y/N spoke up.
"I remember faces but not names. I remember what I can do but not how to do it. I can feel what they did to me but not how they did it. I know that the skin on my face was cut away to hold something but I don't know what."
I looked at him and he looked down.
"The earliest memory I have was of two people talking about the fact that my body seems to be incapable of aging. They said that my bodies' cells seemed to be in stasis where change wasn't needed and was replaced at a speed that matched the death cycle of cells where change was needed. Before I lost consciousness I remember one of the scientists laughing and saying that he had all the time in the world to make his experiment work. That was the last time I saw natural light for a long time."
A tear fell to the ground.
"I still feel pain but I don't know what caused it. I feel so cold." He began to cry.
I moved right next to him and he began to tremble. He tried to move back but I quickly wrapped my arms around him. For a few moments he struggled before stopping.
"It's alright, I won't let anything hurt you." I promised.
"How can you promise that?" He asked.
"Because," I began. "I'm now the queen of all monsters and nothing will every get close to you until you recover."
Y/N suddenly shuddered and pressed against me in my embrace.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I can't help but feel a sense of joy that you're queen but at the same time that thought brings unbearable sadness as if the title falling to you was paved from the misfortune of others. I feel pain in my heart for more people that I can't remember and a small part of me doesn't want to remember because the pain might get worse." He answered.
"Do you remember anyone in particular?" I asked.
"There is one name that is carved into my mind from pain and guilt. I don't know who she was but I know that I could've prevented her death if I tried just a bit harder." He shivered.
"I'm sorry." I whispered gently before kissing his forehead.
"I almost lost her name and if that happened the rest of my past would've been taken but I saw a girl who looked like you and for some reason I felt the urge to protect her. I almost broke free when I saw her." He said.
An indescribable feeling shot through me an I suddenly squeezed Y/N who became tense at my sudden change in emotion.
"That's our daughter!" I exclaimed. "She's alive!"
After the battle of mind and heart I had lost one daughter and losing another in the most recent attack was devastating but the thought that she was alive brought me hope.
"They took her, didn't they?" He asked.
I nodded.
"So that's why I fought through the torment to keep any memories I could." He said.
He became silent and I gently rubbed his back.
Y/N let out a gasp and began to shake.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Everything hurts! I remember what they did to me! They chained me down and put tech in my head that connected to my mind and allowed them to use my brain like it was a puppet. In order to use my magic they tried to control me without fully taking over, they would order me to do things to monsters in that world... there was no light... no way to tell how much time had passed. They said kill this person and I would always refuse but a searing pain would shoot through my body as if my senses were being forced to attack me." He cried.
"There was nothing that you could've done-" I began.
"I killed so many innocent people because I was weak! They threw a girl in front of me that looked like you but wasn't the same as the one I saw. I tried so hard to resist and when I was forced to attack I missed her heart and didn't land a killing blow. It was then that they found the 20 percent power ratio. I remembered who she was but by that point it was too late and she was already gone! I killed her! I killed your daughter!" He shouted.
There were two emotions inside of me right now and one was slowly taking over. I had to leave before I lost my mind. And that's what I did, I let him go and he didn't even try to resist. Part of me felt as if he hoped that I would kill him, maybe that's what the order forced him to believe, either way I didn't hate him but I was in danger of doing something that I would deeply regret if I looked him in the eyes.
I left the room quickly and was stopped by Luna.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"The blood of my first born daughter was forced on his hands!" I snapped before running off.
Luna's point of view...
I opened the door to find Y/N silently sobbing with his head in his hands. There was blood dripping from his arms and panic suddenly filled my soul. I rushed him and quickly held his wrists so that I could see what happened. From what I could see his wrists were slit despite there being no weapon.
"How did this happen?! Did she do this?!" I growled.
"I did it to myself. I've only brought back pain and anguish... I killed innocent people and should be punished. Death might be too easy of a way out but I think they tortured me enough. This way the eternity of agony they forced me to live through can end." He whispered.
I picked him up and he seemed to realize that I was going to try and help him.
"You might be my husband but that doesn't mean I won't hit you with enough needles to paralyze you for life!" I shouted.
He stopped moving and allowed me to carry him.
"I will fix you, you aren't alone." I promised
"I'm evil." He whispered.
"The order is evil. You're the bravest, most kind and selfless soul I've ever met. To see you like this physically hurts and I can't imagine a world without you in it, so please, don't think of yourself as a monster." He fell silent after I said this.

After he was healed I took him back to the room. I can only assume that the ordeal left him tired as he quickly fell asleep. I lied down and pulled him up so that his head was on my breasts which made it easier to cover him with my wings and stroke his hair. And then something unexpected happened, he smiled slightly.
"It will be alright, my little human, I promise." I whispered.
I made sure to put as much effort as possible into making him feel at ease. In my eyes he went through enough pain to last him a lifetime.
"I love you." I moved him up slightly to kiss his forehead.
"Goodnight."