I DON'T KNOW

Something you probably relate to

Ok, so I'm on this long sucky drive back to my house. (Went to my G-parents house for Thanksgiving)

And we stop at a gas station because My sister (let's call her Janie) and I are hungry. Then as we are getting in the car, my little sister, in all her bratty-ness and glory, says "When are you going to pay me the rest?"

Backstory: So for Halloween, we went to the Halloween Spirit store. I LOVE that place. All the freaky mechanic sound effects are so much fun. Anyway, Janie is freaking TERRIFIED of it! LOOOOL

Me, being the brilliant and emotionally neglected self I am, had to guide Janie around the store while she clung on to my arm for dear life. And I stopped to look at the Gory jump scare machines, you know, the ones that activate when you step on or hit a button? And I said "I'll pay you five bucks if you go and step on one of those buttons."

Because my little sister is ridiculously money- crazy (seriously, she could work on Wall Street) she let go and stepped on (guess what) THE LEAST SCARIEST ONE IN THE WHOLE FRIGGING STORE.

Inside I was going "GODDANGIT THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED! YOU STEP ON A DIFFERENT ONE" but, because I'd already tried to strangle my little sister when she insulted Enders Game, I stayed calm and said "I'll pay you later"

Of course I forgot. I'm a busy girl. And she KEPT.BUGGING.ME.

Current:
Which led to the lecture of the Day.
So I get in the car, and Janie keeps asking about it. Then she had the gall to ask for some of my drink. Of course I replied "I'll give you some when you stop impersonating the IRS."

And then it erupted.

Janie: YOU SAID YOU'D PAY ME.

Mom: You should pay her.

Dad: *thinking this is a freaking future behavioral problem* She did her part, it's your turn. Blah blah blah blah blah...

Celine: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah money blah blah lied blah blah blah Pay me blah blah blah blah

Mom: *not having any idea whatsoever what is the source of the issue* You lost the bet, pay her.

Dad: *Still being the worst child psychologist on the face of the earth* You said you would, she held up her end, now you should do the same. You said you would do something, and you didn't. You are only as good as your word.

Me: *Mental speech* Well you guys already don't think I'm a good daughter. So what the heck? I mean, you guys only pay me any actual attention when you want me to do something or when I'm doing something wrong. I guess that's my fault too huh?

Mom: *Copies Dad entire life lesson*

Dad: *Continues*

Me: That's the lecture for the day...

Dad: Don't you say one more word about it.

Me: *mental speech* But hey! Let Janie keep going at it.

So the thing you can relate to is this: Parents thinking that the tiniest mistake is going to turn into a freaking life hijack. And then giving you a lecture. And them being hypocrites.

What are some things that your parents lecture you about?

I'm the oldest child. And you know how parents experiment with the first because they don't have a freaking idea what they're doing? Yeah. They screwed up with me.

One time my Dad was lecturing me about how thankful I should be, yes I AM thankful. At least I TRY to pay you guys attention.

And then he said "You are a liability, not an asset."

I knew it was true, but it hurt. He said it like he could throw me out of the truck and not think twice about it. In my brain I thought: Then go ahead, throw me out. You succeeded with the experiment AFTER me. You failed in my case. You don't need me anymore.

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For the record, I am not depressed. I'm fine with being me.

You know how when someone dies, there's that one person who tells you that they wouldn't want you to be sad, and that they'd want you to move on.

If I died, I wouldn't. I would want them to be sad. I would want them to feel every tear, and see every freaking thing they've ever done wrong to me every damn time they close their eyes.

. I would want them to see what they should've done with experiment A. Not experiment B.

I would want them to read this and feel awful, because that's what they deserve.

See you guys later! I'm fine, just angry I guess.
~ShipCaptain