I DON'T KNOW

TWO (if you are a PJO fan you need to read this)

Let me say something about PJO fan fictions: some of them are really fantastic, and then there are the not-so-great ones. I have found that most not-so-greats have the following components:

Demeter is OBSESSED with cereal? What the flip?! You people do know that cereals contain a LOT of genetically modified plant material right? So if anything she would HATE cereal.

Demeter- WHY ARE THEY DOING SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS ON MY PLANTS?!

Me- Because your plants do not do so well growing naturally...

The use the word "Orb" waaaaaayyyy to often. Is it to much to say "eyes"? TIS NOT ILLEGAL TO REFERETH TO YON SIGHT-SPHERES AS EYES YOU KNOW. Seriously. " I looked into his grey tortured sparkly giggly orbs and then he looked into my orbs and we stared deep into each other's colored orbs and went questing."

Persephone becomes a counselor with Demeter about the cereal. Um, no.

They progress the characters relationships way to fast. Seriously it is like for the first day they are like "I hate you so much."

Then then the next day they are "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NEVER LEAVE ME EVER I KNOW WE ARE LIKE SIXTEEN BUT HEY LETS JUST FRENCH IT UP!!! OR SOMETHING EVEN BETTER WE CAN JUST HAVE WOOHOO-FUN -TIME (no I will not say the x word) RIGHT AWAY!!"

I swear I have read so many that are paced to fast. It is a book, not a zombie 5k run for your life. You can take it slow.

Also: There is to much language and woohoo fun time in some these fanfics. Really some of them are pg-13 and they should be NC-17!!!! I do not know about you but I highly dislike reading a w-h-f-t scene. It just makes me reaaaaaallllly uncomfortable.

Reading a w-h-f-t scene about every chapter is annoying.

Age: In most fanfics the characters are still around 16-18. THEY ARE TEENAGERS. CONSIDERING I AM ONE AND DO NOT HAVE W-H-F-T EVERY TWO SECONDS SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING. For crying out loud some stories have so much w-h-f-t that you start to wonder how many birth-control pills the girl has to take.

Percy: In so many PJO fan fictions the author makes Percy sound gay. (Not trying to offend any percico or Leico shippers) But he is actually really thoughtful and caring, and people

make him sound like a ten year old or an idiot.

Gay shippers: I know this is a touchy subject. (Remember no complaining or racist comments)

But I have seen many characters not just in PJO but in many other series suddenly become a gay OTP. I guess what I am trying to say is that you can ship any boat you want, but could you not make a gay OTP when they are clearly just friends? (Like Eren and Levi in AOT, levi isn't EVEN Erens friend. So just how the FLIP did Ereri happen?!) I have nothing against Gay or Lesbo ships but gays/lesbians please try NOT to pick on a straight shipper or OTP. Unless of course a straight shipper attacks you for being who you are, because then it is justified to go all RELEASE THE KRAKEN. I mean it, just LET IT GO!!! UNLEASH THE FIRE!!! BURN THAT MOFO.

Straight shippers: If there is a ship that is CLEARLY GAY then just roll with it. Nothing you can do to kill the ship... But if a gay shipper attacks you GO ALL HULK AND DEFEND YOURSELF. . RELEASE THE DOGS OF WAR.

So that was just to name a few.

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Sorry for the short chapter, I have not had MCH time to write since I have been babysitting.

Anyways, have any ideas for next rant? Post in comments and if I use your idea YOU get a dedication on my most popular story (98 reads in counting) "North"

Thank you SO Much for reading you guys rock!

SHIPPING CAPTAIN OUT.

*throws tiny plastic fish at audience*