I DON'T KNOW

Day 6

Aloha! 

Today was quite entertaining for a plethora of reasons and oh boy here I am going all word nerd on you all. I'm sorry, haha it's a habit actually. Most people at my school tell me or ask me about my large vocabulary. The reason I say everytime; I read. Like a lot. I'll read anything except for romance novels excluding the occasional fanfic. When I was little, both my teachers and my parents were always being careful of the reading materials I had access to because I would read anything and everything that I could get my hands on. I remember being scarred for life when I found one of my mom's air force medical manuals on a bookshelf. There were diagrams and things in those books that I did NOT need to see. *shivers* Eeuuughhh. At the time that was my reaction, but now that I want to be a doctor in infectious diseases (Parasitologist) I've pretty much gotten over being grossed out. That being said, I still get grossed out at things outside of the medical field. The brown parts on a banana? Oh hell naw. I went to church today for youth group, had a good sermon from the hilariously high energy youth pastor. He's a new father so it's a miracle that he is still as crazy energetic he is. Seriously. You need to see it to believe it. Towards the end though, I began to feel sad. This happens occasionally, and sometimes I don't know why I'm sad. But I can still smile and laugh, and marvel at pretty things. See, most of you haven't ever seen me in person. So I'm going to try to be humble over text. Frankly, and I didn't realize this for a long time, I'm considered pretty. I also have a very high confidence level and self-esteem which is very rare in teenage girls. I don't have time for self pity in between studying and extracurriculars. Being physically attractive and high confidence as well as decent smarts means that a lot of people are intimidated by me. This makes it hard to talk to people a lot more than you think, and people don't see your personality very much when you have an appealing face. Please don't think me rude, everyone is beautiful in their own way. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As a result of my genes, I spend lot of time by myself or alone even in a room full of people. None of them want to talk to me, so they don't. It's like being on the outside and looking in all the time. I don't mid it terribly, but sometimes it's lonely, you know? An I'm not stuck up at all, I like talking-to anyone if they'll let me. But anyways, it was also a funny day because my math teacher is sassy, and roasts kids all the time. Fun fact, he has thrown a pen, mushy grapefruit, and a students shoe out of his window on the second floor. He threw out the grapefruit because I took it when he said he didn't want it. And upon realizing his mistake, that I would throw it at someone most likely, snatched it out of my hands and chucked it out the window. True story, I wish I had a picture of it lying all smooshed on the ground outside. I must go to sleep now! 

Aloha,

CJ