Survivor

36| Feelings For You (pt. 2)

The rest of the day was boring. Most of the guys were sick so they were sleeping and lounging around, and the rest of us pretty much did the same.

Later at night, Derek checked my head wound and I asked him if I could sleep next to him.

"Absolutely," he replied, although he kind of trailed off as though his thought wasn't completed.

"You sure? You sound like you have more to say," I called him out.

He chuckled, "I guess I'm just curious, why not with Cam? Did something happen?"

I sighed. I didn't want to hurt Cam by sharing what he told me, but I knew I could trust Derek. Aside from Jake, he was the one I confided in the most out here. I loved him like a brother, and I knew he would keep my secret. I tell ya, it was really hard to navigate these novel boy situations without having a girl friend here to talk things through with. "If I tell you, can you promise not to say anything?" I asked.

He nodded. "You have my word."

Okay, here goes nothing.

I began at the beginning, retelling the events of everything Cam told me and what I told him in return. As hard as it was for me, I admitted to Derek my feelings for Jake. I could see in Derek's eyes though that it was in no way surprising to him; any of it.

"Yeah... I had a feeling Cam was into you," he concluded.

This was shocking to me because I just barely could tell. "You did? How?"

"He made it pretty obvious and he's told Nathan he may be catching feelings. I didn't know he'd say anything to you though."

"A warning would have been nice, but we're good. Cam means a lot to me; you all do. But, I don't know what to do about Jake. I was going to tell him how I feel today, but when I got back he seemed so distant. How was he with you today?"

"He was concerned about you, but he didn't really start acting strange until you got back."

That's what I was afraid of. "Do you know why? I don't get what's bothering him."

"Jake is... well he's Jake. He's good at a lot of things, but sharing his emotions isn't one of them."

"That's true..." I agreed. Every time Jake and I had a deep talk it usually took some prodding on my end. Otherwise, he wore a tough exterior and it was hard to break through sometimes.

"Cass I wouldn't worry about it. If anyone can get him to talk it's you, and I'm sure he will be fine tomorrow."

"Let's hope you're right."

******

He wasn't right.

2 more days had passed; Jake wasn't sick anymore, and he still wouldn't talk to me. He had recovered fast, and he was already back to almost 100%. It must have been some sort of day flu that the guys caught because everyone was far along on the road to recovery.

I was sitting out on my favorite rock overlooking the lake; the one that Jake had caught me from falling off of the night after the quick sand. It made me sad that he was being so distant, and I needed to figure out why. He was driving me crazy. Out here, there really wasn't anything to take my mind off of him, so all I did was dwell on the situation all day... every day.

Don't get me wrong, he wasn't being rude; it wasn't in his nature. He still would acknowledge me if I said something to him, but he also hadn't looked at me in like 2 days, nor had he asked me to sleep by him again even though he was healthy. Something I'd been hoping he would do.