Survivor

34| Goin' on a Ginger Hunt

Although I had been trying, sleep just wasn't happening for me. I could hear the trees rustling in the wind outside and the sound of light rain. There was a rumble of thunder through the valley and I cowered into my sweatshirt. Even with Cam right beside me, I was feeling way more uneasy than I ever did while laying with Jake.

About 20 minutes later of listening, the temperature had dropped and another thunder cracked the sky, seemingly shaking the cave. My bones rattled together as I shuddered. Part of me wanted to turn over and curl up next to Cam, but another part felt like doing so would be almost like a betrayal to Jake.

I also didn't want to be the kind of girl who needed a guy to make her feel safe, but I felt like that's who I was becoming out here around them. The more I thought about it, I realized that I have been way too dependent on their strength and I've been neglecting my own. I hated it, and made a silent vow to be better and more independent out here. I refused to be the kind of girl who needed someone to save her all the time, but rather the one to save herself or even others. The temperature continued to plummet while my thoughts wandered and I shook, pulling the sweatshirt tighter around my body.

Cam rolled over, throwing an arm over me in his sleep. I gratefully held onto it, feeling the heat radiating from him. I shuddered as a gust of wind entered the cave, clinging to Cam's arm tighter.

Okay. Maybe I will just start being more independent in the morning when it's warmer... I thought, giving myself silent permission to be wimpy for just one more night.

"Cass?" I heard Cam whisper behind me, his voice gruff with sleep.

"Hmm?"

"You can scoot closer to me you know. I can feel you shivering," he said, pulling me closer into his body. I felt a lot better being tucked into him, and was glad he was the one who made the move so that I didn't have to ask. I curled myself into his chest like I often did with Jake, absorbing his warmth. However, even though I was much more comfortable, for some reason sleep just didn't come.

I was dozing in and out throughout the night and watched the crack in the cave door as the sun was rising, shining some light into the cave. I was exhausted and felt like I had barely slept a wink, but I was also ready to start the day. I stayed cuddled into Cam, not wanting to feel the chill of the morning before it warmed up for the day, but I didn't wait long before I felt him stir.

"Cassie, are you awake?" He whispered.

"Yes," I replied.

"Let's go get a fire started, and when some more of the guys wake up we can head out."

"Yeah sounds good," I replied, pushing the sweatshirt blankets away and shuddering at the cold.

"Here. Put this one on; it's the thickest one I have," Cam said, offering me a navy blue hoodie.

I gratefully took it and pulled it over my head. "Thank you Cam."

He gave me a reassuring nod and stood up, stretching. The bottom of his white t-shirt slid up as he raised his arms, revealing a toned abdomen and a line of hair starting just below his belly button. I never noticed it before, but I couldn't ignore how attractive he was. He reached a hand down to me and I took it, letting him pull me up. We both made our way quietly to the rock door, being careful to avoid sleeping bodies.

"Cass back up," Cam whispered, taking his stance to push the door out of the way.

"Why? Don't you need my help?" I asked.

"No. I don't want you exerting yourself with a new concussion. I can get it."

I rolled my eyes but backed up. If he didn't need me to help push it, I'd let him try on his own. I watched as he began pushing but the rock didn't move. He stopped for a minute, and ran back at it with more force. The rock began to move finally, but it was a slow process. Eventually, he managed to slide it open, but I found the whole thing to be amusing.