Survivor

19| Theres Comfort in Conversation

"Hey Cass..." Jake spoke from behind me, pulling me from my thoughts. I turned around and looked up at him. Since it was getting dark it was hard to tell, but he looked good in an athletic fit, light blue hoodie and white shorts. The bright colors made his skin look really tan.

"I um, I felt the wind pick up and thought you might want this since you always seem to be cold." He presented a black hoodie to me with a shy smile.

"Wow, yes I actually could use one. Thank you Jake," I smiled up at him and reached out for the sweatshirt.

"Want some company?" He asked.

"Sure. You can sit down if you want to." I quickly pulled the sweatshirt down over my head and scooted over to make room on the rock. "This sweatshirt is big," I said, holding the arms up and noting how much extra sleeve I had.

"Yeah, it's mine. It's the thickest one I could find for nighttime," he explained as he sat down next to me.

I felt better at his gesture and I loved that he let me wear his clothes. "Thank you," I said again in a quiet voice.

We both were silent for a moment before he spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What's wrong? Before I thought it was just about the quicksand, but at dinner and even now you just don't seem yourself. Your smile isn't meeting your eyes like it always does... and I don't know. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything; that is, if you want to." He locked his big green eyes on mine while he spoke.

"I know I can Jake... but I don't know exactly how to even explain it." I looked up at him through my lashes. I could tell him how I was feeling, but doing so would make me sound insane and emotional, and that was not the kind of girl I wanted to be.

"Try me."

I took a deep breath. Despite my hesitation, I supposed if he was willing to listen, I'd let him in. "I guess I'm just kind of feeling a lot of things today. Like, I'm INSANELY frustrated because of my ankle; I can't go anywhere on my own, I'm not being very helpful, and today I couldn't even get myself out of the quicksand because of it. I'm just used to being so independent, and now I can't be," I paused to gather my thoughts.

"And I feel kind of defeated because of all the trouble that I'm always in, and Adam and Wes saying it's my fault. I know that they were just messing with me, and I like how you guys do that, but I already feel bad about getting into the situations that I do. I mean, it's not like I do these things on purpose, but I don't want to be someone who's always needing to be saved you know? Sorry for the rant." I let out a breath before looking up at Jake who seemed to be deep in thought.

"I see what you're saying. Right now yes, it does suck that your ankle is busted, but you're healing and it won't last, so you need to remember that. And as for feeling like you cause trouble... maybe; but you don't even understand how much you've helped us out. You're just looking at the negatives but do you even recognize everything you've done?"

I shook my head and looked out at the disappearing sun. I didn't know what he was talking about. It seemed to me like I was the least valuable person out here.

"You gave Derek stitches, you helped everyone clean their wounds, you're the one who heard the water first. I mean, who knows how long we would have walked before we found anything close to this? You found the cave, and you killed the deer. You see Cassie? you really aren't giving yourself enough credit. So what if I have to kill a spider for you, or pull you out of some quicksand here and there?"

I chuckled, "Well, let's hope that won't happen again. But it does help to hear it all put like that. I guess I wasn't aware of some of the things I was doing." I turned to look him in the eyes, "Thank you."