Chapter 48

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by Tom

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by Tom

The next stop, Hooman #A
disembarks with me
and Greg in wobbly carriers,
one of us in each
trembling hand, as he mutters
under heaving breaths

how the lizardmen corpses
exploded by ultraviolet lasers
is the last thing
he wants to explain
to an Amtrak conductor.

Since the train was still
more than an hour out
from our Las Vegas stop,
Hooman #A opts
to purchase Greyhound tickets
and bus us the rest of the way,
leaving Greg and I imprisoned
in our plastic, back-breaking
cubbies with iron-grate windows.

Greg seizes the opportunity
to lick lizard guts
off his paws, purring
at the delicious alien delicacy.

Inspired by the sounds
of om-nomming morsels,
I also try to lick lunch
out of my tuxedo fur.

Hooman #A slips on
a shoddy Plantronics headset
to listen to the news
on his Android phone.
I can hear the buzzing
hooman language
lost in the spaces between
black foam earpieces
and Hooman #A's head.

Newscaster #1
So the question isn't whether
the President did anything
wrong, so much as if
it's worth to impeach him
out of office
to prevent further damage.

Newscaster #A
I don't see things
ending well for us—

Greg
Hoomanity is too susceptible
to Proxima Centauri B's
propaganda and subterfuge
to navigate out of this mess;
it's like watching a Flatlander's
attempts to play
fourth-dimensional chess.

Hooman #A
Shh!

I look through my barred window,
the same as Greg, and freeze
in the fiery glare of
our normally gentle hooman.

It occurs to me
that our hooman's fear
of other people overhearing
his talking cats
may have validity to it,
so I decide to communicate
telepathically with Greg
through GalaNet instead.

After logging into GalaNet,
e-mail notifications
buzz wildly through my skull,
my neuralace coming online
with the flurry of a summer
firework show.

Phoebe
Pinging Major Tom.
I repeat,
pinging—

Buttercup
Tom, Greg:
do you read me?

Philosopher Jones
Emergency update—

Lahea
DeeJAY's been taken hostage!
You're needed
at the Lizaggio pronto!

Phoebe
Pinging Greg.
Begrudingly,
pinging—

Lahea
Please!

Philo
You fools better be
fighting ancient dinosaurs—

Buttercup
Tom, Greg:
backup requested,
priority one—

Lahea
DO YOU COPY?

I disconnect my audio link
until the rest of my inbox
loads, instead focusing
on a holographic map
of the Lizaggio
thanks to the neuralace
projecting Gee-Atlas
from my searching eyes.

Once I feel comfortable
with the casino's layout,
I unmute GalaNet
just in time to receive
Greg's telepathic transfer:

Greg
Commander DeeJAY
is a reckless bonehead.

Tom
It will take us at least
three more hours
before we can exit
this bus and rescue him.

Greg
And we can't tell Hooman #A;
whenever I open my mouth,
he starts to palpitate.

Tom
After fleeing an X-Files scene
with two cat carriers,
it's understandable that
he wants to lay low.
Yet I agree
this pact of silence
is getting in the way
of hours we could instead
use to strategize.

We continued to qualify
differences in our thinking processes
as we worked through
the bubbles of panic
we both knew
we were trying to ignore.

This is the first time
one of Cat Society #337
was taken hostage,
and whichever reptiles
had the gall to go this far
would be our first targets
for nanobot lasers, round two.

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