Chapter 31

11 4 2

by Lahea

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by Lahea

While Hooman #1 is away
with Philosopher Jones
at the thermometer-in-butt place,
I sit in Hooman #A's lap
purring contently
as Commander DeeJAY,
the Almighty Beetle Slayer
and Entrepreneur of Thumb-Gloves,
plays Battleship
with Major Tom and Phoebe,
the One and Only Bengal,
teaming up against him;
from what I've gathered,
Philosopher Jones tasked them
with challenging their young leader
by combining intellectual forces
against him, at least
for tactical simulations.

I personally think
Commander DeeJAY would benefit
more from a sashimi salad
with a side of
the ever-elusive tasty octopus,
but what do I know?
I'm just a kitten.

DeeJAY
A-4.

Phoebe
Miss!

Tom
Actually, I think he hit something...

Phoebe
That's bullocks.

I watch with a smirk
I can't entirely hide
as my fangs poke delightfully
from the corners of my lips
while Major Tom lifts
a clunky paw-glove
to count the spaces to A-4
then goofs
and knocks over the whole game
into DeeJAY's furry lap.

DeeJAY
You did that on purpose!

Phoebe
Why would he do that?

DeeJAY
Because I was winning!

Tom
Sorry about that...

Phoebe
You were never winning.
I was going to destroy you
like the alley cat you are—

Buttercup
Don't talk
to our commander that way!

Phoebe
Don't butt in?

Lahea
But he was winning—

None of us
thought about much of anything
when Phoebe arched her back,
poofed her tail,
and yowled:

Phoebe
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

Not even
Commander DeeJAY
held his ground
as we scattered in all directions.

Perhaps the most unfortunate
side-effect of our cat fight
was the computer
Greg abandoned
just before lizardmen
pinged on our radar.

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