Chapter 4

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by DeeJAY

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by DeeJAY

Hoomans,
it's come to my cattention
our One & Only Bengal
has no filter;

so now you know
how Feline Societies
chucked big rocks
at Earth
to save the future
from dinorexes
sent by Proxima Centauri B.

You also know
we've tried to meow
about dinorexes
and Babylonians
through a hooman
representative before.

We may as well
let all the other cats
out of the bags
and explain the stories,
and the conspiracy theories,
on the table here:

The tales of lizardmen
were originally spread by hoomans
guided by Feline Society #201.

We wanted to warn
hoomanity of their
interstellar threats,
even way back when.

But then, our efforts
were perverted
by disinformation lizards
for anti-Semitic purposes.

When we speak of lizardmen,
we mean the aliens
from your neighboring star,
not the disinformation campaign.

I'll give you one example
of alien lizardmen at work:

Climate change.

The warming climate
is a Proxima Centauri plot
to burn Earth's oil
far too fast,
exploiting the natural greed
of current markets;

so if you see lizardmen
fracking the land,
those are the real-deal threat.

Proxima Centauri will not stop
until climate change
destroys hooman civilization;
you could say
the lizards thought
it would be ironic if they recycled
the oily remains of their dinorexes
to bring destruction anew.

In Feline Society #337,
we have established
21st-century hooman allies—
the two of you,
Hooman #1 and Hooman #A—
to help us do our best
to protect hoomanity
from the lizardry pollution
and other plots of corruption.

As we carry out our defenses,
we compile these documents,
the American Catseye files,
so more of hoomanity
can also learn and understand
the gravity of the situation.

Hooman!
Now that you know
about us
and Babylonian Brotherhood,
we can commence...

Hooman!Now that you know about usand Babylonian Brotherhood, we can commence

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