Chapter 17

8 7 1

by Phoebe

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by Phoebe

As I save and close
my Adobe files,
Hooman #A walks up to me.

Hooman #A
Where'd you find time
to set up all these computers
and get rid of the couch?

Phoebe
I was pissed
about what I found
at the shoddy house
up the street.
So I don't know
about the other cats,
but I had enough energy
to set up this computer lab
nine times over.

Tom
Phoebe and I
went to the shoddy house
down the street,
and we found
shrapnel of what
we believe was
Happy Rock.
They destroyed it
to release its magic;
we can no longer rely
on its help
to bring joy back
to this swamp
of a nation.

Philosopher Jones
When they returned
and told me
of this loss,
I gave Major Tom
access to our
artifact database.
He needed the computer
to run his own algorithms
in hopes we can find
another positivity
energy source.

Lahea
Why didn't you assign
such an important task
to Phoebe?
Isn't she the second elder?

Phoebe
Paw-lease!
I'm a queen!
Searching a database
is too below me.

Buttercup
I feel a hairball
coming up...

DeeJAY
Stop digging into each other.
Anymeow,
we're still looking into
nanoscarabtechnologies.
We have a good lead;
I'm Googling the hella
outta that now.

Philosopher Jones
Don't say 'hella' anymore.

Greg
But it's a hella good word.

Lahea
Hey, Boss.
Got a map printing out
of the Canon printer.

Philosopher Jones
Not the color laser Lexmark?

DeeJAY
You and Phoebe
are the only cats here
older than that printer.

Tom
Is Lexmark even
in business anymore?

Greg
Nah, bro.

Buttercup
I've got the printed map.
Can I accompany
our hoomans this time?

Phoebe
Oh hell no—

DeeJAY
That's a good idea.

Phoebe
I'm the one
who knows how
to drive cars!
I should take them
to Los Angeles,
not that classless torty.

Of course I'm furious
DeeJAY would undermine me
when I've worked so hard
at my traveling skills.
It's not like most cats
are good drivers.
But Buttercup won't relent
the job to me so easily...

Buttercup
Classless?
"Listen here,
you overpriced show cat,
I am not—

Philosopher Jones
You'll both go.
Major Tom,
can you schedule
them a Meouber?

Phoebe
No need.
I don't mind driving.

Hooman #1
Phoebe and Buttercup...
...in the same car...?
And Phoebe's driving?

Hooman #A
They said Los Angeles.
That's a four hour drive.

Hooman #1
You think they'll fight
the whole way?

Hooman #A
Let's pack catnip
and throw blankets...

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