Chapter 2

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by Philosopher Jones

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by Philosopher Jones

Greetings, Hooman.

Since DeeJAY heard
President Orange Man
does not have
a science advisor,
he's been dragging
June bugs into the house
then mutilating them,
so I think
he's frustrated.

I'm Philosopher Jones,
the elder
of Feline Society #337.

DeeJAY thinks
it's worth my time
to explain
how millions of years ago
a unique kind of reptile
called dinorexes
arrived on a tesseract
to subdue hoomans
but a big giant rock
hit the planet,
murdering
valuable Jurassic aliens,

so Babylonian Brotherhood
Branch #6
of Proxima Centauri B
decided,
next time we visit
hoomans, we ought send
cheaper dinorexes
like lizard people.

Then they did.

Lizards infiltrated
hooman life,
destroyed hooman souls—

the way giant dinorexes
once smashed hooman bones
under reptilian foots—

until hoomans
couldn't remember a time
when they were happy
and without war
for three generations
worth of love
and stability.

Sneaky lizard people
are still here today
and we call them
Babylonian Brotherhood.

They are the real reason why
DeeJAY is so mad.

Hooman!
When we bring you
baby lizards
from backyard crops
to practice fighting
against our enemy,
why do you save
baby lizards
from us felines,
returning them
from whence they came?

Why care about
necessary lizard deaths
caused by Feline Societies,
when hoomans lock
their own babies in cages?

Why save baby lizards
when you don't
save baby hoomans
from yourselves?

Hooman,
are you unaware
and ethically vulnerable
to validate this suffering
as necessary evil?

You fail to take care
of your kind, hooman.
This is why
Babylonian Brotherhood
can strip you
of science
and critical thinking
and compassion for others
so you become
pawns to them.

This is why
Feline Society #337
is charged with
the arduous task
of protecting
hooman-world.

We hope hoomans
someday take care
of themselves
by themselves,
without
Feline Societies
sending
training-wheel-style
spaceships
to fragile little Earth.

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