A proper nightmare

8. Tell me everything

"ok, then we won't. What do you want to talk about?"

"You"

I want to say that I was surprised at his response, but I really wasn't. Kells had opened up to me a lot, and I barely let him in. he knew what happened to me in the present, but nothing about what has happened to me before. "Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"That doesn't help K."

"I want to know whatever you'll tell me"

I sighed and looked around the diner "not yet. Can I drive after we eat?"

He gave me a funny look, then handed me the keys. "Im hungry as fuck so we are eating first" I just nodded as I took the keys from him.

Patty came back and took our order. Kells ordered a beer and a burger with fries, and I got French toast. She smiled at both of us, then walked off, coming back 15 minutes later with our food.

We sat in silence while we ate. This time, it was a comfortable silence. To be honest, I didn't want to talk. I felt like if I opened my mouth that we would have an argument, and I didn't want that, so silence it is. Once we were done, I swiped the bill before K got the chance to pay. "Hey, im supposed to pay that" he laughed a little as he spoke.

"Gotta be quicker than that Baker" I smiled as I walked up front to pay, with Kells right behind me. Once I stopped at the counter, his arms went around my waist and he leaned his head on my shoulder.

Patty walked over to us "You guys ready to head out?" I nodded and handed her the bill with my card. I turned my attention to Kells.

"Can you go start the car?" he nodded and took the keys from my pocket and walked outside.

"How long have you guys been together?" patty asked me.

"Oh... oh no we aren't"

"well you should be. The only one I've ever seen him look at like that is his little girl. He's a good man, he just has a temper."

I just looked at her, unsure of what to say "He treats you right, yes?" her overprotective mom instincts were kicking it, it was sweet.

"He saved me more than I know." I spoke quietly. She handed me my receipt and me card. As I was signing the receipt she spoke.

"good. If he doesn't ill beat him... don't be afraid to trust him. Just be honest with him, and he'll do anything for you."

I couldn't help but smile. This sweet old lady was giving me boy advice for a boy I didn't even know I wanted until right this second. I handed her the receipt back, then hugged her "Thank you patty. Goodnight"

When I walked outside, Kells was waiting on the hood of the car "what did Patty say to you?"

"Just that you look at me the way you look at Casie. Also that you have a temper, but that I should trust you and if you don't treat me right that shell beat you."

Kells blushed and laughed nervously "She will. She'll actually beat me." he looked into my eyes. I couldn't help but laugh, thinking of that short lady beating Kells mercilessly with her purse or a frying pan, or even just her hand.

"Don't laugh. Im genuinely scared of that woman." He tried to chastise me, but he was laughing too.

I got in the car, Kells following my lead. I drove further away from LA, and up into the mountains. I stopped at a park, and got out of the car, going to the swings and sitting down on them. K sat in the car for a minute, then got out and walked up to the swings, sitting in the one next to me. The only light was a street light a little ways down.

"I watched my brother die right in front of me. He was arguing with our boss and he just pulled the trigger and shot him. I sat there with my brother dying in my arms and I couldn't do a god damn thing about it. I couldn't take him to the hospital. There was blood everywhere." I held back tears. This stuff was hard to talk about, but he wanted to know about me so here we were.

"Carter im-" I interrupted him this time

"No im not done. I remember dragging my sister into the shower and turning on the cold water so that she did OD. I was 6. Her pimp tried to kidnap me twice when I was 7. She was in and out of my life until I was 16. I don't even know if she's dead or alive. I've stayed up countless nights trying to stop the people I love from dying, but they don't give a fuck about me so they don't care that every time they scare me like that, I can't sleep for days. My dad was shitty father. He always had to be right and yelled at me constantly. If he was drunk it was worse. He'd hit me while my mom just sat there and watched. I've been shot at, shot, stabbed, choked, and beaten within inches of my life and literally no one cares. I have fucking awful taste in people so I pick the worst possible ones and latch onto them. That or I pick the broken ones and try to fix them but somehow, I end up making it worse. I know this isn't the shit you wanna hear about me, but this is me. This is my life" I kept my head down, too nervous to look at Kells.

I didn't notice him get up, or that he was standing in front of me until he crouched down so that he could look at me "You've had a fucked up life Carter. I wish I could change it, but I can't. The only thing I can do is learn from the shit I've done and the shit you've gone through so that I can desperately try not to put you through that." He put his hands on my legs "Don't shut me out. Im here for you, no matter what"

I had already let my walls down so much with him. I couldn't let him in anymore. "Yeah, everyone's always fucking there for you until you actually fucking need them. Then they don't give a shit about you" I pushed his hands off me and got up, walking away quickly.

I thought I had a good lead on him, but that fucker has long legs, so he caught up to me quickly. "Carter wait" he grabbed my hand and pulled me so I was facing him again. "Who drove you home because you were to hungover to drive? Who stayed with you, let you cry on them and got you high as fuck after your girlfriend broke up with you the first time? Who came and got you when you got raped? Who let you stay with them after your girlfriend broke up with you again?" he sighed and looked at me "Carter I fucking care about you. Why can't you see that?" His once bright blue eyes, were almost white and filled with pain and sadness.

That's when I broke. Seeing him hurt like this, and knowing its because of me. I just started crying. Tears streamed down my face. I felt him pull me into his arms and he held me close to him. 

Question of the day: If you could get any one thing for free, what would it be?

I'd get a nice house for my mom so she never has to worry about making rent.