Does it hurt yet?(An Eyeless jack fanfiction)

CHAPTER 29

,Come on wake up,it's time to go",  E.j was shaking me awake. I didn't remember falling asleep though. I jolted awake and sat up quickly. I was on the couch.

,Whoa take it easy,we're going on a killing spree now", Ej informed me and motioned to the door where the rest where getting there shoes on and grabbing there killing weapon. I grabbed my ax and put on my shoes.

,When did I fall asleep?", I asked quietly to Jade.

,I don't know,you where awake one moment and then I guess you where out cold. I wanted to pour honey mustard all over you to wake you up,but Slendy wouldn't let me...

,I wonder why", I rolled my eyes.

,Same here",Jade said thoughtfully.

I was only a couple steps out the door when something latched on to my ankle. It was Sally.

,What are you doing here?", I asked.

,I wanna kill people too", Her eyes twinkled,Slendy would be so proud...

,You know you can't kill until your 13", Jade noticed Sally.

,Is that the rule?", I asked.

,Yes...however if you pretend not to notice her and if Slendy doesn't she could get away with it", Jade pointed out. But we need a plan....

,What kind of plan?", I asked.

,A sneaky plan...a cunning plan...a detailed...a plan so diabolical it can't fail", Jade was thinking hard till she seemed to get a lightbulb over her head...it was broken,but it was still a light bulb.

,L.j come over here", Jade signaled him over.

,What is it?", L.j asked.

,Your going to be preggers", Jade grinned as the last details where formed inside her head.

,Why?",L.j asked. "I'm not a women"

,True...then plot twister...you've been a women but you where to embarrassed after living as a guy to reveal it", Jade ended the story with a satisfied look. I was surprised at how much it seemed to relate to my own life

"Okay Sally just curl up into a ball and up l.js shirt you go",She made it sound so simple.

"Is that safe?", I asked. "I mean with l.j being l.j and all"...

"She'll be fine", Jade reassured me. "After all,even someone with his brain in his pants like l.j knows the consequences of trying to feeling up Sally".

L.j nodded vigorously.

Sally fitted herself into l.js shirt and curled up into a ball and remained silent as we continued to walk.

Slender noticed immediately. He kept glancing at l.j and then looking back. Probably searching for words.

"Okay listen",Slender summoned the courage to confront l.j about...his issue.

"Yes Slenderman?", L.j blinked innocently.

"Well ummm child...what is that?" Slender uneasy pointed at ljs round "pregnant" belly.

"My little bundle of joy", L.j impersonated the voice of a pregnant mother perfectly.

"And how did you get that little bundle of joy inside of you exactly?", Slender asked.

"My Slendy you perv,shouldn't be asking about that", L.j pretended to blush and chuckle.

"Okay new question...who is the father?", Slender wasn't buying this at all. You could tell by that cloud of sarcasm that swarmed him and the way he had his arms crossed over his chest suggested he was thinking "this is the worst bullshit I've heard all day".

"Ummm his name is Jake", L.j replied.

"Jake who?",

"Jake from state farm", L.j rolled his eyes. "Who else?"

"And how is that possible,you are a male", Slender answered surprisingly calmly. He was just trying to see how this was going to all play out..

L.j was stupified for a moment. I was worried he would go out of character. Then bit his his lip gently and let the other hand grip the end of his shirt,looking away from Slender and at the ground blushing madly. It was the ultimate sexy time and embarrassed anime girl pose.

"Slendy...the truth is I'm a female,I've hidden it successfully for years but now that I'm pregnant with Jake from state farm's child...I can't do that anymore", L.j gushed huskily.

Slender muttered something under his breath. I'm no lip reader but it sounded like "I'm going to motherfucking bitch slap you".

Damn he looked mad.

"Now now don't look so angrily around my baby",L.j scolded and patted his tummy. I heard a loud giggle and then Sally fell out from l.js shirt and onto the ground.

"That tickled L.j!", Sally squealed.

L.j didn't say anything for a bit but then put on a surprised face.

"Oh wow,my baby has been born", L.j exclaimed. "And its a girl,she's beautiful".

Slender tapped his foot like an angry mother. "Went it to labor pretty fast there didn't ya child?" He definitely wasn't buying this. Nope. Not at all.

"Yes I know,It's so weird", L.j chuckled nervously.

I didn't think l.j could keep his character up for longer.

"ABOARD THE MISSION ABROAD THE MISSION!", With Jades command lj threw Sally over his shoulders and ran. We both followed.

i immediately caught up with l.j and Jade. After all I was a fairly fast runner. I was going to run ahead,but I kept pace with them since I didn't know where we were going.

"Where are we going?", I asked,still running and dodging branches.

"Depends ,is Slendy following us?" Jade asked.

"I don't know,I'm not looking back", I replied.

"Well we should go on a killing spree then", L.j suggested. "That is why we did this after all".

"Yay,I wanna kill I wanna kill", Sally squealed happily.

"Then let's start", Jade grinned.