I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

28

Only thing I could do and wish, praise the god, devil, or anyone else it will work, was to get some alcohol. But I didn't take any with me, and I couldn't find any here. I would have to search this place more carefully, to quickly find something. They must have at least something for the after party.
But first, I would have to get up from the ground.

I grasped all my remaining strength and will, and with a wince lifted up my head, slowly climbing up on my elbows. By stomach was making dangerous loops, and head was spinning insanely. But I still continued up.
When finally, after long dreadful minutes of slow movements, I was crawled on my knees and palms, whole body shaking, covered in sweat from head to toe, tears started dripping down my cheeks. I bursted into crying, but didn't care to wipe the tears of my face, as I held my full attention on manipulating my body, and muscle after muscle was building myself up.
I jerked my hand from the ground, falling with my shoulder towards the wall, leaning heavily against it as my legs just couldn't hold me up by themselves. Still wailing and sobbing, I forced to stand still until at least some strength returned to my legs and finally, I was able to stand up.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. Pale, completely white as a sheet of paper, dark circles under my eyes, which were red and puffy from crying. My hair was sticking out in every direction, and my stage clothes, which I had already on, were stained and folded at many places. With a shaky sigh, I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the puffiness at lest a bit, fixed my hair and clothing quickly.
With my nose, I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes. I forced myself to act calm on the outside, as it did actually calm me down a bit, a poor tiny bit, but did, but in reality, I was freaking out. I didn't want to think about what would happen if I didn't find any alcohol. That would be the end for me.

I opened the door and stepped into the aisle. I passed the room where we, 'Queen', was assessed. Hopefully, the guys won't notice me walking by. They didn't.
I continued on speed walking though the whole backstage, passing many people, artist and the crew, my heart rate speeding up. For long, for too long I couldn't find anything. I didn't even know where to look. I didn't even know is something was really here. What did I think? Why would here be alcohol? This was the end. I was going to die. I wanted to die.
I started panicking again. I wanted to cry, scream and vomit, at the same time, at the exact place I was standing at.

Suddenly, in the last second, a guy passed me, just opening a beer. My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat.
"Hey!" I shouted after him and my voice cracked, but I only hardly noticed.
"Yeah?" He turned around, raising his eyebrows.
"Where did you get that?" I spat out, pointing at his glass, inpatient as hell. God, why was he so slow?!
"Over there," he replied, pointing somewhere behind me.
I turned around immediately, and my gaze fell on the numerous packs of beer built on each other in the corner of the room. Relief wave over me, nearly giving up my knees underneath me again and drew a smile on my face.
I mumbled out a quick 'thanks' to that guy behind me, storming to the packs, grasping one and rushing back to our dressing room, I already finished one on the way and I was just gulping down the second one when I broke into the room.

"Roger!" Came a shout from the tallest curly lad as soon as I arrived. "Where were you? We were worried!"
"We're starting in few minutes!" Freddie scolded me, not leaving me any time to answer.
"Are you alright?" Deaky added, all of them attacking me worried looks along with angry ones.
"God, back off, I'm fine," I replied, all the stress suddenly gone, as I sipped from my beer. "I thought we had to celebrate!" I showed them the beers.
"Well now when you mention it, I'm not going to argue with you!" The singer laughed as he took one, along with the rest of the band.

"Let's do it darlings!" Freddie yelled when we finished the alcohol jogged out into the aisle, continuing toward the stage, where they should announce us in minutes.
Deaky immediately ran after him, now when they were in an official relationship, they couldn't last apart for only few moments. I chuckled, their cute love making me feel happy for them, but along with it, I tried to ignore all my sad and desperate feelings and thoughts which rose up in my memory and mind when I thought about them two. Briskly, I made my way towards the door, excitement pumping through my veins, energy running through my whole body, my mind was already a bit numbed by the alcohol, so I was nervous of course, but only the pleasant way.

"Rog, wait," I was stopped by Brian who still stood in place in the dressing room.
"Yeah?" I asked, turning towards him.
"I don't want to annoy you or anything," he explained with a slight smirk. "But I have to ask. Are you alright?"

I stopped for a while, actually wondering what to do. I was determined to not let anyone know, to hide everything in the best way possible. But I knew Bri was suspicious about this, and something in his voice, maybe the tone? I don't know, but something made me desperately want to spill everything out, to just run into his arms, cry and spill out everything. Not that I wouldn't get those feeling on everyday basis, but this exact moment, it felt as if he would even be okay with me doing it.
But now I couldn't allow myself to break down. We had a gig to perform. Our largest audience yet. Later, there will be time.

"Yeah," I smiled. "I'm fine. But thanks."
"Alright," Brian shrugged his shoulders with a grin. "So let's do this!"
"Yeah, lets blast it!"
We stepped out of the door together.

From the backstage, I could feel the people. I could hear their screams, yells and laughter. I could feel their gazes on the now empty stage. I felt their excitement, happiness and incredible joy. I felt how this mood filled tho whole arena and the atmosphere here was zapping with energy and excitement.
I tightened my grasp around my drumsticks, sending a quick last look to all the three others.
"And now, the opening band..." came from the speakers on stage.
My heart rate rose. I closed my eyes, head falling back as I inhaled a deep shaky breath. Were two beer bottles enough?
"... legends from London..."
Panic started to rise inside me. I shot a desperate look to Brian, he felt my gaze on him, and turned towards me.
'You can do this,' he mouthed silently with a smile, his eyes sparkling beautifully. He was beautiful. And I believed him.

"Welcome her majesty, Queen!"

fAt bOTTomEd gIrLs are blasting in my headphones rn
Enjoy❤️

Ohh, now it's seaside rendkazoo