Nasty

Kids are gone

"Andrew bring my grand baby back up here so we can get him dress. And you and knowles come up here and load the car"

I slowly got the girls dressed still in disbelief that they would be leaving me for a weekend. I was out of my mind scared, petrified. Mad that I let them talk me into this. Nala stares up at me grabbing for my hands as I buttoned her tiny jacket. Jada kept rolling over so she could suck on the back of my hand and when she got annoyed with me moving around she went for Nalas cheeks.

"I'll go check on April and Jr" I said and went over to the next room. The two were fight over the remote "excuse me but you two should be getting dress not trying to watch TV" I growled grabbing the remote from Jr hand and placing it on top the dresser.

"Mommy I can find my shoes"

"Check the closet love" I told April as I helped Jr with his pants.

"Moooom I got it" he signed dropping his shoulders.

"I bet you do baby" I said pulling him into a big hug and smooching his face "go get bags sweetie"

for the next 30 minutes the house was chaos as we got the car packed and kids in their car seats. "Don't forget Nala's med at 6pm it's"

Ma dukes turned to me "Queen, yo Babies is gonna be fine"
"I'm just a speed dial away"

"I know your number queen" she gave me a hug and I watched as they settled in the car and drove off. I wanted to cry so bad feeling my babies presences get further and further away from me.

And that was it, the house was quiet and drew stood in front of me leaning on the wall. Their weren't any twins fighting each other over remotes, there weren't any triplets crying for food.

A bitch heart beat was pounding at the quietness of this damn house. Or maybe it was because the way drew was looking at me. He'd been in a good mood all day and I wasn't sure if he was excited about getting the kids out the house or having me all to his self.

"Can i say some real shit right quick queen" he smiled looking around the house.

We were t really allowed time to just talk to eachother about everything that has happened. Month ago I was afraid of trying to patch things up but it's been months since and maybe our opinions have changed since then

"Say it"

"I never thought this day would come" he chuckles "for a second I thought you were avoiding this talk by using the kids"

I was.

"Crazy" I chuckled and started to the kitchen.

"And I know thats exactly what you've been doing" he followed me. "But here we are queen, month later, working around each-other, caring for the children, paying bills with clean money"

I signed "Andrew I forgive you!" I screamed throwing my hands in the air and letting tears fall from my eyes "yeah my ass been hiding from this convo, yes i agree, we have been working well together, no I do not want this convo to go left. I forgive you okay. I love you so much and I want this. I was scared that this would come to late and I wouldn't love you anymore. And you damn right, I didn't have to continue loving you" I blinked back tear after tear, taping my finger against the kitchen counter. DAMN, the triplets done made me so sensitive. Andrew walked up to me and tried pulling me into a hug "nooo, cause we're gonna have sex. We can't keep"

"Girl hug me back" he smiles and I did. Burning my head in his chest. I let him wrap his arms tightly around me. And we just stood there for I don't even know how long, honestly I didn't give damn.

This was the start of something new.
I didn't have to be hard all the time

Or mean .... angry ... cold 
I didn't have to be - well - Nasty